Intro — dramatic horns, sticky footsteps, distant battle drums] OH NO… NOT THE SYRUP PIT. BRO RUN— THE EGG KNIGHTS FOUND US. ⸻ [Verse 1] Woke up face-down in a waffle field Covered in bruises and maple peel Yesterday started completely fine Now I’m trapped waist-deep in breakfast slime Matt got stuck by the cinnamon trees Yelling “PISS” while attacked by bees Not normal bees—French toast bees Flying around with butter swords and beer-battered cheese I tried to run but my boots got caught In a syrup puddle the size of a parking lot Then over the hill came a terrible sight— THE EGG KNIGHTS RIDING INTO THE NIGHT ⸻ [Pre-Chorus] OH LORD— Here they come Sunny-side helmets reflecting the sun Bacon shields and spatula spears And they been kicking our asses for ten thousand fucking years ⸻ [Chorus] STUCK IN SYRUP, COVERED IN SWORD WOUNDS BREAKFAST WORLD ALWAYS MAKES US SPOON Got black eyes, scraped knees too Courtesy of the Egg Knight crew STUCK IN SYRUP, CAN’T BREAK FREE Maple syrup got a hold on me Every time I think I’m finally alright ANOTHER EGG KNIGHT START A FIGHT ⸻ [Verse 2] Captain Benedict led the attack Hit me so hard I flew off the track Landed headfirst in a biscuit moat Lost one shoe and half my coat Meanwhile snail boy Matt found a pancake horse Thought he’d escaped the breakfast force Horse said “SUCK MY BALLS” and bucked him down Straight into a hashbrown falls Now the Skungus the Muffin Wizards laughing loud Watching us get worked by the breakfast crowd One threw jam directly in my face Another stole my wallet and vanished without a trace ⸻ [Bridge — emotional, ridiculous] Why… Why is breakfast so violent? It’s supposed to be the most important meal of the day… (beat drops) ⸻ [Final Chorus — biggest] STUCK IN SYRUP, COVERED IN SWORD WOUNDS BREAKFAST WORLD ALWAYS MAKES US SPOON Got black eyes, scraped knees too Courtesy of the Egg Knight crew STUCK IN SYRUP, CAN’T BREAK FREE Maple chains wrapped around my knees One day we’ll finally win this fight— BUT IT AIN’T GONNA BE TONIGHT ⸻ [Outro — fading] FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK EGG KNIGHTS AND THEIR OPPRESSIVE REIGN OF TERROR OVER BREAKFAST WORLD
