What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory. Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies! Have you heard about the chocolate record player? It sounds pretty sweet. What did the ocean say to the beach?" Nothing, it just waved. Why do seagulls fly over the ocean? Because if they flew over the bay, we'd call them bagels. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know Y. How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it. What did one wall say to the other? I'll meet you at the corner. What did the zero say to the eight? That belt looks good on you. A skeleton walks into a bar and says, 'Hey, bartender. I'll have one beer and a mop.'" Where do fruits go on vacation? Pair is! I asked my dog what's two minus two? He said nothing. What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn? Where's Pop Corn? What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus. What did the dad say when his son said, "I'm hungry?" Hi, Hungry, I'm Dad! Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe! Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it. Why did the scarecrow get an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear. Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they're shellfish. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore! I told a bad chemistry joke once. I got no reaction. My extra winter weight is finally gone. Now, I have spring rolls. What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty. Have you ever had a bad sausage? It's the wurst. What is a pirate's favorite letter? You'd think it be R , but 'tis the C they love! Why can't you find many chemistry jokes? Because all the good ones Argon. What do you call a $2 chicken? buck buck. What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, inserts neatly in hole, and works best when jerked? A seatbelt. What's the difference between a well dressed man on a unicyle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? Attire. When I was a kid I wanted a Toyota. I had Luke, Han, R 2 D 2 and C 3 P O , but no Yoda. My wife says I'm pedantic because I take things literally. I corrected her, and said no, that would make me a kleptomaniac. I wanted to marry my english teacher when she got out of prison. Apparently you can't end a sentence with a proposition. Did you know any pen can write underwater? Yes, they can write other words, too. If squidward is an octopus why do they call him Squidward? Because otherwise saying his name would be Ockward. What do you call a lawyer who cooks? A sue chef. What do you call a magician who lost his magic? Ian.
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