[Chris] You guys didn't answer the question! [Matt] You didn't ask a good hypothetical! [Chris] THIS IS THE HYPOTHETICAL!; IF YOU HAD A CLONE, OF HITLER, WOULD YOU TORTURE IT?! [Matt] Why not just say a tiny little Hitler?! He didn't commit the actions! [Chris] HE'S STILL A BAD GUY! He's still evil!, he thinks he did it! [Ding-Dong] Your neighbour could be thinking these things too, and you wouldn't even know it. [Chris] If I cloned you, and kill the real you- DON'T INTERRUPT! DON'T INTERRUPT! The real clone wakes up in your bed. He doesn't know he's a clone! [Julian] Then it's not a clone, It's a fucking homunculus you made up! [Chris] Imagine this: He grew from a baby into a man in one second. [Julian] THEN HE’S NOT A CLONE! [Chris] THEN WHAT IS HE, A COPY? [Julian] YES! [Chris] THIS IS WHAT THE WHOLE ARGUMENT WAS ABOUT? Fine, He's a fucking perfect copy, would you fucking torture him?! [Ding-Dong] …But did he do anything? Was he the person that committed the crimes? [Chris] Did he do anything? No! He thinks he did. [Ding-Dong] He'll also fucking kill himself anyways if he thought he did it. [Chris] No, you hide the gun from him. [Julian] WHAT?? [Matt] That's not going to change anything. In a criminal case, if someone thinks they did something they didn't do, that doesn't hold up. He expressed his second amendment right... Used his pistol and shot himself in the head! [Ding-Dong] You're saying he's tiny too…. Why is he tiny? [Chris] LISTEN! If you were locked in a room with Hitler, and you were fucking with him, he'd wanna to get out, and if you don’t let him, he'd kill you! [Matt] He'd be confused as fuck, ‘cuz he just time travelled! [Matt] Is he healthy? I think he smoked and drank a lot. [Chris] This copy has perfect health! [Chris] LISTEN [Ding-Dong] You're trapped in a floating castle in the sky, there's no doors, no windows, it's filled halfway with water, little Hitler with the same memories- [Matt] Rick More-Anus on the television in the corner- [Chris] More-Anus? [Matt] More Anus. [Ding-Dong] And he also has a tiny little dagger. [Ding-Dong & Matt] IF HE'S SIX INCHES, HE'S NOT A PERFECT FUCKING COPY! [Chris] I SAID, FROM THE FUCKING BEGINNING, THAT HE WAS FUCKING SMALL! [Ding-Ding} “When I make up new definitions for words and you guys don't understand it you're fucking idiots, what can I say?” [Matt] He has perfect health, hasn't committed anything, has the same memories, six inches tall, in a white room, with no doors or no windows... [Ding-Dong] How are you suppose to fucking breathe then?! I'm more worried about that! Are you going to eventually fucking die anyways? [Matt] He's gonna wonder where his regime went. Where's his family? He had a dog. [Ding-Dong] I'd cry, I'm trapped in a room! Is there an intercom in there too? Is it a perfect copy of an intercom? It has the the memory of a normal intercom, even though it's not sentient. [Chris, mockingly] “Sen-tee-ent” [Ding-Dong] You mispronounce everything horribly! [Chris] “Sen-tee-ent” [Ding-Dong] YOU SAY THE “OR” BUTTON, AND YOU NEVER CORRECT YOURSELF! [Matt] You keep saying Ozama! [Chris] Ozama, In the highesttt! [Outro] By the end of it, you were just asking more questions, and adding to it. [Matt] BECAUSE IT DIDN'T FUCKING MAKE SENSE! It made NO sense! It made ZERO sense!
