Fucked Up And Damned

[Intro] (Spoken) I was twenty years old when the towers fell. Didn’t know a damn thing about war. Didn’t know I’d spend the next twenty-five years chasing one. Didn’t know I’d make it home and still be carrying it around. But here we are. [Verse 1] I was twenty, just a kid, Watching smoke roll across a TV screen. Everybody was pissed off, Everybody wanted answers. A few months later I was gone. Left my hometown. Left my family. Left behind everything I knew. My mom cried. My dad shook my hand. And I acted tougher than I felt. Truth is… I was scared shitless. Back then I thought war was something you survived. Nobody tells you sometimes it follows you home. [Pre-Chorus] You tell yourself you’re doing the right thing. You tell yourself you’ll be back soon. You tell yourself a lot of things when you’re twenty years old. [Chorus] So raise up a glass for the fucked up and worn out, The ones still fighting even now. From Iraq all the way to Afghanistan, I’ve seen shit most folks won’t understand. I don’t need your pity. I don’t need applause. I’m just trying to live with the things I saw. Raise one high if you’re still hanging on. ‘Cause some days that’s harder than people think. [Verse 2] Twenty-five years since I picked up a rifle. Twenty-five years carrying my brothers. Some of them came home beside me. Some of them came home in a box. You don’t forget that. You don’t move on from that. People love saying time heals everything. That’s bullshit. Some things never heal. You just get better at hiding them. Twenty-five years later, I still catch myself looking over my shoulder. Still wake up sweating some nights. Still hear certain names and feel it hit me right in the chest. [Pre-Chorus] You learn how to smile. You learn how to work. You learn how to tell everybody you’re doing alright. Even when you’re not. [Chorus] So raise up a glass for the fucked up and worn out, The ones still fighting even now. From Iraq all the way to Afghanistan, I’ve seen shit most folks won’t understand. I don’t need your pity. I don’t need applause. I’m just trying to live with the things I saw. Raise one high if you’re still hanging on. ‘Cause some days that’s harder than people think. [Rap Verse] Got a TBI and that bastard never leaves. Every morning it’s waiting for me. Forget little things. Lose track of conversations. Walk into a room and wonder what the hell I came for. Then there’s the other shit. The crowds. The noise. The feeling something bad is about to happen. Heart starts racing. Hands start shaking. Eyes looking for exits before I even know why. Everybody around me is buying groceries, talking about football, living normal lives. Meanwhile my head’s fighting a war that ended years ago. And some days I win. Some days it kicks my ass. [Bridge] Twenty-five years is a long damn time. Long enough to go gray. Long enough to watch kids grow up. Long enough to bury parents. Long enough for most people to forget what started all this. But not long enough to forget the faces. Not long enough to forget the names. Not long enough to forget the brothers who never got the chance to get old. So this one’s for them. Every damn one of them. [Breakdown] Here’s to the ones we lost. The ones we carried. The ones whose birthdays still show up in our heads. The ones whose families had to learn how to keep living. Here’s to the empty chairs. The missing voices. The laughs we’ll never hear again. [Final Chorus] So raise up a glass for the fucked up and worn out, The ones still fighting even now. From Iraq all the way to Afghanistan, I’ve seen shit most folks won’t understand. For the brothers we lost. For the ones still here. For every hard year. For every night we thought we wouldn’t make it through. Raise it high and let it fall. We’ve seen hell. We’ve buried friends. And somehow… We’re still standing. [Outro] (Spoken) The war ended years ago. At least that’s what they tell us. Truth is… For some of us, it never really ended. We just learned how to carry it. One day. One drink. One memory at a time.