There are drawers in my head And I don’t know what’s in them That’s the whole fucking problem Drawers Drawers Drawers in my head Every time one stays shut Something ugly crawls out instead I can live with a disaster I can see What I can’t stand is the shape behind the door Give me blood, give me wreckage, give me teeth Just don’t give me something moving under the floor Because the dark fills itself in The blank starts growing skin I hear breathing in the walls Where nothing should have been And I know how this works I know what the mind will do If it can’t find what’s inside It invents something worse for you Drawers Drawers Drawers in my head Something scratching in the wood Something whispering under the bed Drawers Drawers Drawers in my head If I can’t pull them open I start seeing things instead Clean little labels Neat little names Everything sorted Nothing explained I can number every box I can file it to the bone But if I don’t know what’s living there It starts living on its own Now the room keeps changing shape The walls lean when I turn Every shadow has a mouth Every silence has a nerve I know half of this is mine I know half of it is smoke But when the drawer stays closed The difference starts to go Drawers Drawers Drawers in my head Something pounding on the inside Something wanting to be fed Drawers Drawers Drawers in my head I keep naming every monster And making new ones instead I spent years tearing drawers out Every place a problem could hide Rooms Labels Lines Edges Names Anything to keep the state alive Then I carried all of it home Every unfinished thing Every open mouth Every question without a body Every problem without a name All of it In one room All of it Behind one face There are drawers in my head Of course there are I built them Drawers Drawers Drawers in my head Open them Name them Let the ugly thing be said Give me the known disaster Give the unknown somewhere to bleed I can face the thing with teeth Just don’t let it grow Where I can’t see Drawers In my head Drawers In my head
