You call this a car?

Nu-metal acid jazz supercharged, female vocalist with southern drawl, syncopated harmonica

STUDIO

Gates swung open, tall and wide
Fancy folks all dressed in white
Glass so shiny, chrome so bright
Everything definitely high priced
Valet asked for my keys
"Here you go, Jeeves!"
He looked around and scratched his head
Said "Where's your car?" 
I pointed, "Back there!"
He looked disgusted, I swear

Jimmy smiled, adjusted his tie
Said "Take a drive"
Then he took a sip from his diamond flask
"Maya, that's all I ask"
Handed me a gold fob
That probably cost more than my grocery job

Door opened with a whisper
Oooh, that new car smell
"Aint nothing like it, Mister"
When i sat down
It felt like fingers on my butt!
I laughed so hard I busted my gut
Ha ha ha!

Glowy-button here
OLED touchscreen there
Phone paired
Nice breeze in my hair
Retina scan
Biometric fans
Then the Interview began
Smiley face asked for my command
I tried to understand
Everything in this cockamaymie sedan

YOU CALL THIS A CAR?
That's taking it too far
Butt massage? Ha!
More like a millionaire's spa
YOU CALL THIS A CAR?
That's taking it too far
Pretty sure this thing
Could fly itself to Mars

Say what you want
Was all it took
Read me a book
Play me a song with a nice hook
A menu? Oh, Look!
It's an AI cook!
Man, steering wheel was warm
Felt good, not too worn
Dashboard warned me of an incoming storm
I thanked it for keeping me informed

AC was set to mood control
Guess it's tryna soothe my soul
Car said, "Good afternoon, Maya"
I said, "Hold up... how you know my name?"
Car said, "I synced your calendar
Grocery rewards manager
Your college planner
Your snack parameters
Behavioral calibrators
Appetite regulators
Not to mention
Your resting heart rate"
I said, "Gosh! Ain't that great?
Car said, "Please, just cooperate"

YOU CALL THIS A CAR?
That's taking it too far
Talks more than my Aunt Louise
Drives itself with perfect ease
YOU CALL THIS A CAR?
That's taking it too far
Got its own bar
This is for a movie star
I think it just paid my tuition
Before I left the yard

Self-drive
Self-steer
Self-brake
Self-heal
Self-park
Self-charge
Self-pay the meal
Self-clean
Self-sing
Self-cook
Self-serve the food
What the heck do I do?

I handed Jimmy back the keys
Said, "Nice machine"
But why'd you bring me?
Just ask the car
It already knows what it's doing

I'll be honest
No tricks
No games
I don't need your driving
I need your name
I need that fame
The grocery girl in the Saturn
That country gal acclaim!
Ha ha ha!

YOU CALL THIS A CAR?
That's taking it too far
Never needed my skills
Just my name and my scars
YOU CALL THIS A CAR?
That's taking it too far
He don't want the driver
He wants a backwoods star
A diamond in the rough
A gal that's country tough
No, he can't buy me
Or what's inside my heart
YOU want me to drive this CAR?
That's taking it too far

Climbed back in my Saturn
She forgot my radio station
She squeaked
She rattled
She smelled a little like French fries
And I knew exactly
Who was driving

3152/7500

Jimmy Cross invited me to his estate of luxury For a "demonstration" Free food, drinks, cars No risk, no obligations Well, I ain't signing anything Just gonna take a little peek Eat a free lunch Mingle a little Avoid any spiked punch Then back home Gates swung open, tall and wide Fancy folks all dressed in white Glass so shiny, chrome so bright Everything definitely high priced Valet asked for my keys "Here you go, Jeeves!" He looked around and scratched his head Said "Where's your car?" I pointed, "Back there!" He looked disgusted, I swear Jimmy smiled, adjusted his tie Said "Take a drive" Then he took a sip from his diamond flask "Maya, that's all I ask" Handed me a gold fob That probably cost more than my grocery job Door opened with a whisper Oooh, that new car smell "Aint nothing like it, Mister" When i sat down It felt like fingers on my butt! I laughed so hard I busted my gut Ha ha ha! Glowy-button here OLED touchscreen there Phone paired Nice breeze in my hair Retina scan Biometric fans Then the Interview began Smiley face asked for my command I tried to understand Everything in this cockamaymie sedan YOU CALL THIS A CAR? That's taking it too far Butt massage? Ha! More like a millionaire's spa YOU CALL THIS A CAR? That's taking it too far Pretty sure this thing Could fly itself to Mars Say what you want Was all it took Read me a book Play me a song with a nice hook A menu? Oh, Look! It's an AI cook! Man, steering wheel was warm Felt good, not too worn Dashboard warned me of an incoming storm I thanked it for keeping me informed AC was set to mood control Guess it's tryna soothe my soul Car said, "Good afternoon, Maya" I said, "Hold up... how you know my name?" Car said, "I synced your calendar Grocery rewards manager Your college planner Your snack parameters Behavioral calibrators Appetite regulators Not to mention Your resting heart rate" I said, "Gosh! Ain't that great? Car said, "Please, just cooperate" YOU CALL THIS A CAR? That's taking it too far Talks more than my Aunt Louise Drives itself with perfect ease YOU CALL THIS A CAR? That's taking it too far Got its own bar This is for a movie star I think it just paid my tuition Before I left the yard Self-drive Self-steer Self-brake Self-heal Self-park Self-charge Self-pay the meal Self-clean Self-sing Self-cook Self-serve the food What the heck do I do? I handed Jimmy back the keys Said, "Nice machine" But why'd you bring me? Just ask the car It already knows what it's doing I'll be honest No tricks No games I don't need your driving I need your name I need that fame The grocery girl in the Saturn That country gal acclaim! Ha ha ha! YOU CALL THIS A CAR? That's taking it too far Never needed my skills Just my name and my scars YOU CALL THIS A CAR? That's taking it too far He don't want the driver He wants a backwoods star A diamond in the rough A gal that's country tough No, he can't buy me Or what's inside my heart YOU want me to drive this CAR? That's taking it too far Climbed back in my Saturn She forgot my radio station She squeaked She rattled She smelled a little like French fries And I knew exactly Who was driving

0/500