Oatmeal First Five

Oatmeal First Five, 85 to 89, Forest Grove is where Oatmeal was born; Arnie, M & M; Oatmeal was almost not born, because Peter Rasp was gonna hop on the Titanic; he was born in the Netherlands, not never ever land, he wasn't Peter Pan; urban legend suggested his dad was drunk and got lost like Oatmeal; so they ended up missing the Roy Merrick boat ship; Oatmeal grew up in a trailer park ghetto; he had tubes for ears; he drove around in a tricycle; Treacher Collins, autism, bipolar, A-D-H-D, dyslexia, lactose intolerant, don't got milk; sheep in a play in 87; rode a pony. played drums, did he drown in Seattle; killer carpet flies; Mars saved Rick; river; Rick saved Oatmeal from a car accident; but their mom got hit by an S-U-V; Uh-Wan-Nuh, Cubbies, home school activities; Oatmeal was born in 85, he was staying alive, like that freaking Short Circuit robot, Johnny Five; and if you're alive then join the goddamn Oatmeal Discord Server; get in or get out