[Intro — Whispered] You always cry before I do So I forget who hurt who [Verse 1] I know the night before it starts By how your keys hit the counter Soft means I get the man I miss Hard means I make myself smaller I know the safest place to stand Which words might buy some peace Got so good at paying for it I forgot the price was me [Pre-Chorus] Then you come apart, I hold you “Nobody knows me like you do” By the time your tears stop falling Somehow I’m saying sorry too [Chorus] I don’t have to hate you to leave Don’t have to turn it all into make-believe The good was real, and so was the fear Both can be true—I still can’t stay here No need to call you a monster Just need to stop getting smaller Love shouldn’t cost me the sound of my voice Leaving can hurt and still be my choice [Verse 2] Stopped answering when friends called Said I’m busy, said I’m fine Long sleeves through the heat of summer Different story every time You said nobody else could reach you I heard a calling in that claim Being needed felt like being loved So I stayed and took the blame [Pre-Chorus] Loyal to every wound you carried Faithless to my own Tried to love the violence out of you Till there was no me left at home [Chorus] I don’t have to hate you to leave Don’t have to turn it all into make-believe The good was real, and so was the fear Both can be true—I still can’t stay here No need to call you a monster Just need to stop getting smaller Love shouldn’t cost me the sound of my voice Leaving can hurt and still be my choice [Bridge — Nearly Beatless] Tonight the mirror didn’t ask me To explain another scar It just showed a woman breathing Like breathing was a start Called the number I kept hidden Voice too small to sound like mine All I said was, “Can you get me?” “I’m coming. Just stay on the line.” [Breakdown] No clean break, no brave goodbye Shoes half-laced and a borrowed ride Might want you back before sunrise Missing you won’t mean I’ve changed my mind [Final Chorus] I don’t have to hate you to leave Don’t have to turn it all into make-believe The good was real, and so was the fear Both can be true—I’m not staying here No need to call you a monster I only need to stop getting smaller Love won’t cost me the rest of my voice Leaving still hurts, but it’s still my choice [Outro — Softly] The door falls quiet The street breathes deep Not happy yet But close enough to peace
