"I’m Tabby. I’m a cleric. I wear white robes… barely buttoned. They say I'm a flirt and make very bad decisions." She rolled a three on medicine, then winked and bit her lip, She said, “Lay still, baby, I got this,” as she straddled your hips. She tried to cast Cure Wounds, but her holy book’s on fire, She sneezed mid-incantation and her mace hit the squire. Oh-oh, divine connection’s getting glitchy, She prayed once, got a smite—now our paladin’s extra crispy. But she’s got faith (in her curves), and super hot outfits. Her healing comes with glitter, and a low chance of crits! She’s Tabby! Totally Tabby! Cleric of chaos, holy, horny, and sassy! She’ll lay on hands… real slow, then apologize fast, Your HP goes down, but your other bar? a blast! Oh Tabby! Don’t trust her with potions, She once “healed” a rock and caused a… commotion. But she’s cute when she pouts, and she’s trying, okay?! Just don’t let her revivify you… it will be a bad day. She showed up to the boss fight in heels and a bikini, Her holy symbol’s glitter glue, and her god’s like, “Girl… why me?” She’s got scrolls in her fanny pack—none of them are PG-rated, She just cast Calm Emotions… on herself… now she’s stimulated. Oh-oh, she once did Revivify a plant, Then tried to charge it 50 gold for a - “private enchant.” She blesses the wrong targets—like the enemy mage’s… staff, But she’ll write you a dirty limerick and looks damn good on her back! She’s Tabby! Totally Tabby! Savior of nobody’s party… but she’ll be your fantasy - gladly! She’ll trip on your corpse, whisper “Oopsies, my bad,” She'll whisper, “Relax… death’s just foreplay,” looking glad. Oh Tabby! She’s divine "in her filthy little mind", Her Turn Undead only makes her hard to decline. If you party with her, bring potions and luck, ‘Cause Tabby means well… but damn, she sucks. She’s got a big pile of gold… and hands that never lie, Her deity sends letters that just say, “Babe… why?” But if you’re feelin’ down, she’ll sing you a tune, While “casting” Sacred Flame… and it will burn real - good. She's Tabby! Totally Tabby! She’s a cleric disaster and proudly! She blesses herself, calls it “group aid,” Once tried to mend a amputation… with her tongue and a Band-Aid. Tabbyyyyy! May the gods all forgive her, She’s chaos in robes, a divine under-achiever. But she’s OUR mess, our wildcard, our fave little tease, Now everyone clap… for the Naughty Cleric, please! “Oops… was that your HP bar? Or are you just happy to see me?”
