Notice Me or Else ~Your Biggest Fan♡ (Don't Call the Cops Edition)

(Intro — notification sounds getting faster, chipper ringtone from hell) Ding! (saw you~) Ding ding! (love you~) DING DING DING DING DING! (ANSWER ME~!) Tee-hee~! Sorry! Not sorry~! UwU (Verse 1) I know your coffee order, your dog's name, Your childhood address, your mom's maiden name~ (For funsies~!) You're my comfort streamer, my oshi, my king, I clipped every sneeze — that's 4,000 memes! (So talented~!) You said "love you guys" to TEN THOUSAND PEOPLE, But I know it was secret code for ME, senpai~! 💌 Took a screenshot, zoomed real close, Print it out, kiss the nose! MWAH~! (It's warm~!) (Pre-Chorus — giggle accelerating into unhinged) Ring ring~! Ring ring~! (I know you're home~ I checked~) Ring ring~! Ring ring~! (Don't make me come GET you~!) Hee hee~! Hoo hoo~! (Hee hee~! Hoo hoo~!) I'M ALREADY INSIDE~! (>w<) (CHORUS — the catchiest crime ever committed) NOTICE ME, NOTICE ME, NOTICE MEEEE~! 📢 I'm your #1 fan with a warrant for MURDER~! FOLLOW BACK or FOLLOW YOU HOME~! 🏠 Parasocial? Baby, I brought a SHOVEL~! Notice-notice-notice-notice me~! Notice-notice-notice or BLEED~! You're offline? That's so sus~! LOVE ME or GET THE KNIFE BUS~! 🔪🚌 (Verse 2) Built a shrine of chewed-up merch, Fed your goldfish (they were THIRSTY~!) 🐟 Wore your hoodie from the trash, Smells like dreams and dried-up ash~ (Vintage~!) You blocked me? CUTE! New account~! Number 47! See? I count! (Counting is love~!) Your mod application said "denied," So I applied for... YOUR LIFE~! (Accepted!) (Breakdown — whispered over heavy chugs) Psst. Psst. Behind the drywall. I made a friend-hole~! (Just for us~!) Psst. Psst. Your Wi-Fi's slow, 'Cause I'm leeching... your SOUL~! whisper-whisper... "he's in the vents~" whisper-whisper... "she brought a wrench~" SURPRISE, BESTIE~! 💕 (Bridge — sweet lullaby, music box, deeply unwell) Hush now, streamer, don't you cry~ Mommy's here... I mean, I'M here~ (No mom. Just me. Forever~) Close your eyes and count your subs, Dream of me cutting off your... THUMBS~! (Can't scroll away then~!) Night night~! Night night~! I'll be watching~ (Always watching~) I'M IN YOUR CONTACTS AS "MOM"~! 📱😇 (FINAL CHORUS — screaming, layers, unhinged) NOTICE ME, NOTICE ME, NOTICE MEEEE~! I tattooed your face on my KIDNEY~! FOLLOW BACK or FOLLOW YOU DOWN~! Six feet under, still your clown~! 🤡 Notice-notice-notice-notice me~! Notice-notice-notice or BLEED~! You're offline? I'LL WAIT FOREVER~! In your basement! Wearing your sweater! 🧶 (Outro — voicemail message, way too cheerful) beep "Hi senpai~! It's me~! Your favorite~! (Your ONLY~!) You haven't posted in 3 hours so I called the police... ON MYSELF~! They can't keep me, tee-hee~! Anyway, I'm under your bed! Smell my knife~! It smells like US~! Okay byeeee~! See you at 3am! That's OUR time~! ... ... ...notice me." (click) 💀💕 (Final whisper) UwU~... forever yours... under the floorboards~ 🩸