[Verse 1: Swamp-rock male lead, tight thumping drums, chugging tremolo guitar, hollering swamp-rock voice] Painted wagon on the levee road, a crate of bottles in the back Doc Beaumont, cure-all, step on up, I got the tonic and the knack Bayou water, pepper, sugar, little label that I drew Cures your back and cures your heartache and it cures your mama too Been in forty little towns and I was gone by every dawn Sell a hundred, take the money, ride the mule, and carry on Step on up, I hollered, step on up and take a sip And the parish lined up laughin' with a quarter on their lip [Hook: Swamp-rock male lead, full band, stomping swamp-rock hook] Snake oil in a bottle, it ain't supposed to work Pepper and molasses and a ditch full of dirt Good lord, they're cured and they're comin' for more Snake oil, snake oil, knockin' on my door [Verse 2: Swamp-rock male lead, fat low bass, chugging tremolo guitar, cork pops on the backbeat] Mornin' came and I was hitchin' up to slip on out of town When the bald man from the bait shop had a fuzz across his crown Then the widow at the church came dancin' sideways down the aisle Said her knee ain't hurt in years and she ain't danced in quite a while Then a mule kicked down a fence, the oldest mule in all the land And the farmer had a bottle of my tonic in his hand Good lord, I said, good lord, I made that up behind a tree And the whole parish came runnin' with their money after me [Hook: Swamp-rock male lead, full band, stomping swamp-rock hook] Snake oil in a bottle, it ain't supposed to work Pepper and molasses and a ditch full of dirt Good lord, they're cured and they're comin' for more Snake oil, snake oil, knockin' on my door [Breakdown: Swamp-rock male lead, cork pops and kick, tremolo guitar swelling back in] Now I'm stuck in this parish with a ladle and a pot Makin' tonic by the barrel, and I don't know what I got Was it the pepper, was it the ditch, was it the moon above the bog Was it the cottonmouth I bottled by mistake with the frog Step on up, step on up, I can't leave and I can't stop Doc Beaumont, cure-all, they done bought me out of my shop [Final Hook: Swamp-rock male lead, full band, stomping swamp-rock hook] Snake oil in a bottle, it ain't supposed to work Pepper and molasses and a ditch full of dirt Good lord, they're cured and they're comin' for more Snake oil, snake oil, knockin' on my door [End]
