We Learned Earth Wrong

We came in peace We wanted to try fries WE COME FROM THE STARS! We intercepted your broadcasts way out in the void Talk radio, game shows, rage clips, and unemployed noise We studied all your memes like sacred history Now we arrive on Earth with cursed anthropology We learned your catchphrases, your jump cuts, your fights Your blurry little cryptids and your fake moon nights We thought the highest wisdom of the human race Was posting bad opinions with a shining face Now we descend with confidence and stolen slang A hundred thousand light-years just to sound deranged We learned Earth wrong We learned Earth wrong All your worst ideas came through loud and strong We came from the stars singing your dumb songs And every planet had at least one shirtless billionaire We brought you gifts: cheap takes and reaction face lore A cursed little dance and six invasion metaphors We came prepared to vibe, to threaten, and belong But every move we make says we learned Earth wrong Do not be shocked our data set was deeply cursed Your signal hit our dish when all your trends were at their worst We learned Earth wrong We learned Earth wrong All your worst ideas came through loud and strong We came from the stars singing your dumb songs We learned Earth wrong We learned Earth wrong About the probing That is not our department That was totally Or, as you would call him CARL - he's over there... He does not represent the fleet He is a freelanceer Carl, stop screaming in the chamber Carl, put that human down We learned Earth wrong We learned Earth wrong Your trash came drifting through the cosmic fog Now we got laser beams and ironic thoughts We learned Earth wrong Thought we'd tell you in a song We learned Earth wrong We learned Earth wrong Meme by meme and song by song If this feels cursed, well, blame your broadcasts We learned Earth wrong sorry about Carl mostly about Carl We came in peace Shit - we never tried the fries