BLACKWATER BROADCAST — “THE FERRY WITH TEETH” [Intro — Gravelly Radio Announcer] Blackwater Broadcast, coming ashore across Titans Maw! The tide is rising, the fishing’s fair, And somebody’s opened a ferry service. We’ve checked. There is no boat. [Accordion Riff — Stomps and Drums Enter] [Verse 1] By the muddy banks of a winding creek, Where the mangrove branches bend, Sat a deino with a painted sign: “YOUR FRIEND FROM END TO END.” “Just climb aboard, I’ll take you across, One fish is all I charge!” Then a raptor said, “For a little short trip, Your smile’s looking mighty large.” [Chorus — Lead and Crew] Who runs the ferry? THE FELLA UNDERNEATH! What holds the tickets? TWO ROWS OF SHINING TEETH! Keep your fish and mind your footing, Take the path around the bay— We’d sooner wear our claws down walking Than become the fare we pay! [Radio Bulletin — Spoken] A reminder to coastal travellers: A customer review written by the owner Is not an independent recommendation. Especially when it says, “Delicious experience.” [Verse 2] Two gallis came with a fish between, Said, “Can you carry two?” He measured them with a thoughtful glance: “Oh, I’ve plenty of room for you.” But a ptera called from a crooked pine, “There’s a fallen tree upstream!” The deino sighed, then crossed his sign: “NOW OFFERING HALF-PRICE SCENIC SCREAMS.” [Chorus — Full Crew, Fiddle Soaring] Who runs the ferry? THE FELLA UNDERNEATH! What holds the tickets? TWO ROWS OF SHINING TEETH! Keep your fish and mind your footing, Take the path around the bay— We’d sooner wear our claws down walking Than become the fare we pay! [Instrumental — Accordion and Fiddle Trade Melodies] [Verse 3] So across that log went claw and tail, With the small ones in between. And the deino watched his customers Take the finest route he’d seen. By dusk he’d dragged his painted board To a patch of higher ground: “GUIDED WALKS TO THE FALLEN TREE— BEST PRICES TO BE FOUND.” [Breakdown — Stomps, Shouted Responses] Check the water! CHECK THE BANK! Check the thing YOU’RE ABOUT TO THANK! If the shortcut starts to grin— Best think twice before climbing in! [Final Chorus — Whole Crew] Who ran the ferry? THE FELLA UNDERNEATH! Who’s selling walking tours now? THE SAME TWO ROWS OF TEETH! Keep your fish and mind your footing, There’s adventure either way— Blackwater’s got another story Rolling inland from the bay! [Outro — Radio Announcer] The ferry service has officially closed. The walking tours are under review. And our traffic reporter is still a ptera Who refuses to land. Blackwater Broadcast. We bring you the coast— Without getting you wet.
