Put That In My Chart

[Verse 1] Paper crackles underneath my knees. You ask one question, then speak over me. I brought a list so I wouldn’t forget— You haven’t heard the second symptom yet. You see me smiling, question what I say. That smile took practice getting through the day. I didn’t make this appointment to audition For your permission to describe my own condition. [Pre-Chorus] Question the cause. Read every test. Say “I don’t know” if you don’t know yet. Ask what you need. Let me reply. Your uncertainty doesn’t mean I lied. [Chorus] Put that in my chart: I know my own damn life. You get this appointment; I get every night. Check your ego. Get down from that throne. Let me finish one sentence about the body I own. You can ask me questions— You don’t get to answer for me. I came here for help, and I deserve to speak. Put that in my chart. Read it back to me. [Verse 2] You didn’t see the groceries on the floor, Me sitting down before I could put away more. You weren’t there when I canceled on a friend, Too tired to explain the same thing again. You saw one movement, called it evidence. Never asked what happens after it. Being able once doesn’t mean all day. A better hour doesn’t make the rest a play. [Pre-Chorus 2] I’ve made progress. I still need care. Both of those things can be standing here. Don’t use the work it took to get this far To tell me it was never fucking hard. [Chorus 2] Put that in my chart: I’m tired of this defense. Of telling you my limits while you hunt for inconsistencies. Check your ego. Listen past your pride. There’s a person in this room who lives what you decide. I shouldn’t have to crumble Before you take me seriously. I can speak with anger and still speak accurately. Put that in my chart. Those words belong to me. [Bridge — building] For the ones called “too young.” For the ones told “you look fine.” For the person whose companion Gets the questions every time. For the ones who lose their words When the pressure starts to climb. For the ones who bring a witness Just to be believed this time. We shouldn’t need a perfect speech, A photograph of every bad day. We came to tell you where it hurts. Stop talking while we say it. [Final Chorus] Put this in my chart: I asked to be heard. I asked you to investigate, to take me at my word. You can explain your findings. You can tell me you disagree. You can do all that respectfully, Without talking down to me. But if you choose that throne again, I’m walking out your door. I’ll take my questions somewhere else— I still deserve the care I came here for. [Outro — spoken, firm] Write down the question I asked. Write down the answer you gave. If you’re documenting my reaction, Put what I was reacting to on the page.