[Verse 1] Midnight, Monday night, I walked out in the moonlight I found the sky filled with flashes Floating down were cannibalistic comedian snowmen In trench coats and dark sunglasses I ran back into the house, my wife was putting on a blouse I told her to get the shells for my shotgun She said, "Get back in an hour, allow time to take a shower I'll have breakfast ready at one" I ran outside into the night, all psyched up for a fight I let my 12-gauge go to blazing What that double-aught buck would do to these snowmen no one knew But what I found was nothing less than amazing Just one shot from my 12-gauge would send them into fits of rage Then they'd explode and simply blow away I would shoot and they'd dissipate, I had such fun it sure was great Life couldn't be better, there's just no way But when I shot my last shell, everything turned to hell They were on me like molasses I barely got away from the cannibalistic comedian snowmen In trench coats and dark sunglasses I really got scared when my wife cried, so I turned and ran back inside Afraid of what I might see My worst fears came to life when I found they got my wife Before she finished cooking breakfast for me A half hour later I was really pissed for the breakfast I almost missed If I hadn't cooked it on my own Not to mention they ate my wife and now I'll have to cook for the rest of my life Now that she's gone and I'm alone I ran into the cold night and every snowman caught sight Of me when I slipped into the shed Let 'em come if they want to die, they're all in for a big surprise If the snowblower runs, they'll all be dead In one pull it came to life, I'll kill them off for eating my wife So I charged out and shoved the snowblower up their asses And that, my friend, was the end of the cannibalistic comedian snowmen In the trench coats and dark sunglasses
