My Liver's Got a Restraining Order

[Intro] (honky-tonk piano) [Verse 1] The doctor said my liver's done Told me boy, you better run From every bar within this town But I can't seem to put the bottle down [Verse 2] My kidneys filed a formal complaint My pancreas says I ain't no saint My stomach's threatenin' to quit But whiskey's the only friend I got worth shit [Chorus] My liver's got a restraining order Says I gotta stay five hundred feet From every bottle across the border But I'm breakin' that rule every week The judge was my bartender's daughter She understands my disorder My liver's got a restraining order But I never was good with the law [Verse 3] My heart says it's had enough Of pumpin' blood through this toxic stuff My lungs are wheezin' like an old man's song But hell, I've been dyin' all along [Verse 4] The pharmacist knows me by name Says "Brother, you're insane" I said "Lady, that ain't news to me Now pour me somethin' strong and let me be" [Chorus] My liver's got a restraining order Says I gotta stay five hundred feet From every bottle across the border But I'm breakin' that rule every week The judge was my bartender's daughter She understands my disorder My liver's got a restraining order But I never was good with the law [Bridge] (spoken, matter-of-fact) They say I'm killin' myself slow Well, better slow than not at all, you know [Instrumental Break] [Chorus] My liver's got a restraining order Says I gotta stay five hundred feet From every bottle across the border But I'm breakin' that rule every week The judge was my bartender's daughter She understands my disorder My liver's got a restraining order But I never was good with the law [Outro] (laughing, fading) See you in court, liver