For seventeen years you talked among yourselves, About things you didn't like about me— The way I talked, things I did different from your mom The way you thought things ought to be. Maybe most of it was ordinary grumbling, Passed back and forth between you now and then, But every grievance stored in the back of your mind Made the wedge go deeper: sink further in. There were also other voices, Your mother's family pulling you— As though loving what your father had Meant losing what you knew. But no one asked you to forget her. You never had to choose. There was room enough for all of us. There never had to be one to lose. That September night I asked a question You'd been hoping I'd just let go— I waited three months for that video, And your actions were clearly saying 'No'. After spending $100,000 dollars on your shop It was such a small, small ask You would have done it for anyone else, For you it was hardly even a task. That night you wanted me to agree That your shop was our top priority. Instead I said this time the video would be. Sometimes we would prioritize what mattered to me. And something underneath the surface Started pushing its way through. Like a volcano clearing its throat, Then came a comparison I clearly knew. For years you told me how you felt about Lee, All of his faults you'd made so clear— So when you compared me to him. What did you think I'd hear? What did you think would happen When I didn't simply smile, Wrap my arms around you, say it was fine, And bend another mile? Did you think I needed your acceptance So badly I'd agree— That anything was worth the price Of keeping you with me? What did you think would happen If I finally held my ground? Did you think I'd be so scared to lose you I'd turn my views around? Or did you suddenly discover Something you thought you'd never see— I loved you. But I didn't need your love enough to totally give up me. Then all those little grievances Became your history of pain. Every story, every criticism Was gathered up again. Things you suddenly remembered, Stretched to make me look so mean, Claiming the woman Dad had lived beside Was someone he'd apparently never seen. Did you think he'd hear those accusations And come rushing home to me: “Let's finish the shop for them, You step aside and let me be The one to coordinate with them To avoid losing them, you see. What did you think would happen When you told your dad those things? Did you think he'd ignore the truth he lived And accept whatever lies you would bring? He knew the years behind us. He knew the truth about me He'd also felt himself grow invisible, Felt deep hurt you couldn't see— While his children kept mourning what was gone And overlooked the one who still could be. Then another piece arrived by text— Things your mother supposedly never had— The house, the trips, the life we lived Jealousy. Then it clicked for your Dad. Two months passed in silence. What did you think would happen then? Did you think we'd count the empty chairs And fear you'd gone away? Did you think the fear of losing you Would make us bend your way? And then came that November night. You had told Rick I treat him poorly, So I asked you honestly: “Tell me what it is I do. Show me what I need to see.” But there was nothing you could answer, So you turned your rage on me. That's when everything erupted. That's when anger took the wheel. Words came flying through the room— All you'd buried was revealed. What did you think would happen When the anger finally blew? When you said things you couldn't take back, Did the things you chose to do? And what did you think would happen When you told your siblings lies? When they all heard your version Without ever hearing our side? Did you think the fear of losing four Would somehow change the facts? Did you think your Dad would turn against me Just to bring his children back? Instead your hole got deeper, With every effort, you dug more. Every attempt to make him choose you Made the truth clearer to him than before. Maybe you thought losing all of you Was more than we could bear— Did you never consider what would happen If your Dad chose truth instead of fear? What did you think would happen When we learned how you talk about me behind our backs? What did you think would happen When your Dad wouldn't buy your altered facts? Did you think silence would make us chase? Did you think anger would bring him back? Did you think four children turning on us Would make your dad's character finally crack? No! The father you thought would chase after you Had seen it all— And integrity wouldn't let him bend. He chose truth.
