Fragile

Fluorescent light hums like a hymn overhead I sink into the chair, my heart feeling dread They draw three vials, say, “Results in a week” Funny how a needle could decide my fate I thought I was steady, accepting it all But I’m reminded how quickly I could fall There’s a knock at my door A threat of the body breaking, losing all I’m living for I try to stand, try not to bend Yet fear still shadows me He says if it’s back — we’ll have to pull the plug On the meds that make me feel almost like myself Strange mercy, choosing which fear to love Fall apart slowly, or save what’s left of my health I thought I was calm, doing my best to hold Then fear slips in, reminding me everything could fold There’s a knock at my door A threat of the body breaking, losing all I’m living for I try to stand, try not to bend Yet fear still shadows me If it’s coming back Let it find me in sunlight Let it know I built gardens Even though my body betrayed me There’s a knock at my door A threat of the body breaking, losing all I’m living for I try to stand, try not to bend Yet fear still shadows me