Verse 1 — Grandma’s in the kitchen yellin’, “This holiday’s a scam!” She burned the ham again and blames the oven… and the fam. Kids are running circles ’round her, laughin’ loud and wild, pullin’ tinsel from her slippers like “hehe, sorry grandmaaa… chill.” Chorus — Grandma’s complaining, kids misbehaving, holiday chaos she ain’t saving. Lights keep flickerin’, house is quiverin’, and grandma says “This whole season is givin’ me blisters.” Verse 2 — One kid hides her reading glasses, another steals her chair. A third one wrapped the cat in tinsel— now it sparkles everywhere. Grandma shouts, “If you don’t stop, I’ll tell Santa myself!” But the kids just grin like gremlins and crawl back on the shelf. Chorus — Grandma’s ranting, kids keep pranking, tree looks like it’s slowly sinking. Snow keeps falling, grandma’s calling: “This is NOT the Christmas I ordered!” Verse 3 Meanwhile Santa’s stuck in Finland at the border checkpoint gate, ’cause customs found his reindeer and said, “Sir, we’re gonna need to wait.” Blitzen lost his passport, Donner’s chewing forms, Rudolph set off scanners with his glowing nose alarms. The guard says, “We need paperwork for flying livestock, please.” And Santa cries, “I’ve got a billion gifts and NOW you do this to me?!” Bridge — Back home grandma hears the news, she drops her spoon in shock: “Even the REINDEER are delayed?! This year is cursed o’clock!” Kids laugh harder, grandma mutters, “Next year we’re skipping Christmas and moving to the gutters.” Final Chorus — Grandma’s complainin’, kids still playin’, reindeer stuck and sleigh’s not sailin’. Santa’s waitin’, customs hatin’, and grandma’s yelling: “JUST CANCEL THE WHOLE DAMN HOLIDAY!”
