[Footsteps thumping and muffled voices fading as Verse 1 plays] [Verse 1] Sittin' in the basement hearin' footsteps creepin' round my house. Wife and kids ain't home and it definitely ain't no scary lil' mouse. I ain't been so fuckin' scared since that one time I choked on a grape. Who is in my house freakin' me out I hope it's not a guy hungerin' for rape. My asshole starts to pucker and my nose starts to run. My eyes pour like rivers and I'm a bitch without a gun. The cat is braver than me and I ain't seen that demon in 4 damn days. Oh no y'all I'm so fuckin scared right now I'm so scared in so many ways. [Chorus] There is a bumb and thump I hide in the cellar in fright. If they don't leave my pussy ass will be hiding all night. I wish oh how I fuckin' wish that I had some balls some bravery to show. But I don't so I'll be down stairs scared shitless hiding down below. [Verse 2] My cell phone had a scary fuckin' ad so I threw it in the trash. I quit my horrifyin' job so I can't buy another cause I got no cash. I'd be too fuckin' scared to call for help I'm even scared to call my dad. Oh hell naw y'all I'm so scared yeah I'm scared so damn fuckin' bad. I can still hear them steppin' and I wonder what fuckin' set their reppin'. Chances are they are all tough and scary men each with a medieval weapon. I am too weak to handle bein' raped and I'm terrified of taking a fuckin' beatin'. But those are best case scenarios cause if it's a monster I'll definitely be eaten. [Chorus] There is a bumb and thump I hide in the cellar in fright. If they don't leave my pussy ass will be hiding all night. I wish oh how I fuckin' wish that I had some balls some bravery to show. But I don't so I'll be down stairs scared shitless hiding down below. [Verse 3] Oh God the thumpin' is comin' closer to that flimsy basement door. I'm about to be eaten I'm feelin' fucked for sure ain't been this scared before. They've reached the door only stairs are what remain. I'm shakin' I'm sobbin' I'm so damn horrified I'm goin' insane. Click went the latch and creak went the rusty ass hinges too. My stomach was spinnin' round my gut and in my britches was a poo. Oh God y'all I'm afraid this maybe goodbye this may be the day that I die. Down came a dude that looked familiar who was this scary fuckin' guy? [Chorus] There is a bumb and thump I hide in the cellar in fright. If they don't leave my pussy ass will be hiding all night. I wish oh how I fuckin' wish that I had some balls some bravery to show. But I don't so I'll be down stairs scared shitless hiding down below. [Verse 4] From the dark and scary steps he stood then towards me he began to wander. Can he be a vampire seein' in the dark how else did he know I'm hiding over yonder? "Get your cowardly ass up and quit your cryin'" said a voice I recall. Seems I was so scared I kept my eyes shut cause it wasn't that dark at all. It was my dad and he makes me feel so scared or it's his to pay on his head. "Come on son, go back to your sons birthday party you pussy" is all be said. But I'm scared of the party clown and scared of all those creepy kids as well. With my pants full of shit they'll be able to tell from the rotten fuckin' smell. In my life there are no parties only the cold ass reality that I'm a bitch ass man. Still and always tryin' to find a lil' bravery any thing at all but fear I never can. [Outro Chorus] There is a bumb and thump I hide in the cellar in fright. If they don't leave my pussy ass will be hiding all night. I wish oh how I fuckin' wish that I had some balls some bravery to show. But I don't so I'll be down stairs scared shitless hiding down below. It was just my dad y'all but he's menacing and sometimes he's so rude. I'm such a coward y'all yeah I'm one bitch ass pussy fuckin' dude.