what to do let's get screwed everybody moves around f*** you I sit here lying wide awake I don't know what I'm trying to stay I know why not doing right I could be doing some other s*** it could be tight but I don't care about it at all I just want to sit here in my underwear and sit here like I don't give a care I know what I did and I know what I didn't do I know what you said and I know you wish you could I try to do what I do b**** f*** you I help do what I did and you helped do what you do I sit there and gave everything to you you got me out my pockets and you f***** me up when you came at me talking about I need to get help so you kicked me out I don't know what to say or do but I'm sitting here laying here with my life all confused I thought I was doing what I was supposed to do but apparently it wasn't good enough for you we had some kids we had a few but now they all just live with you I wish I could say I was there too but you lied to me when you said I love you you smoked up on my grass and you took what I had left he ran off and left me with nothing but the clothes that I had on they weren't even my best but I'm right back in the first place that I should have stayed and should have just let you leave but I loved you and the family now I have nothing just sitting here on my knees begging the Lord Lord can you make the voices quit please let thoughts that keep coming they would make most people start running I tried to hold it together so I can be there for my youngest right now he's the only thing that keeps me together when my brain is ripping me apart layer by layer I want to put the gun through my temple paint the wall and blood it sounds also simple rope over a tree branch hang there in the middle of a ranch are hanging myself with an extension cord high high up on a power line that way you can see me dangling in this time I just got to keep my mind in line not let the voices get to me even know and I keep on speaking to me trying to make me do some pretty bad things you know what I mean but I know what it is and I know what to do I shouldn't have ever got with you I gave you my all and you act like I did nothing so now I'm out here huffing and puffing wishing I still had my kids loving it's hard to go to sleep without them around I just got to keep my mind right cuz soon I get up on 10 toes I won't ever fall for another one of them hoes that smile on your face and promise you everything is in place for next thing you know is they put you out on the street talking about blah blah blah f*** your face I gave you everything that I had and if I didn't have it I got it for you the next thing you know you act like I was so so rude and everybody around me just had to run a mouse get me misconstrued so f*** them people and f*** you too I sit there and tip so through your bushes I know you never was told but I sit there and watch you hoping ambition that I could just stab you in the side and make you feel like I do every time I think about you I'm not going to say it was all bad but the way you did me was just sad you made me lose everything that I have even f***** me over with my plug now I can't even get a little bit of love to keep me off the street to even buy some bud to even have a hustle so I don't have to show up off all these muscles but you took all of my money and f****** up on my hustl can't believe I believed you when you said you're going to do something for me I was hoping that this relationship was the last one that this was the final one I was hoping and wishing that you were the one but turns out it happened to me again I found out that you ain't nothing but somebody that runs their mouth let's their friends in their head now I wish I was dead for all the time I wasted why you just lay there and acted like for me I've been broke so long that it's not even that big of a deal I'm just right back where I started all along I'll come back up you'll see that but I promise you you f***** up for what you did to me I wish I can get right and I wish these voices were just leave me alone so I can go to sleep but they keep me up with all these thoughts of what I could have should have done but instead I trusted you through the night now I'm sitting here trying not to fight I hate my life you heard me right it used to be tight but now it's not right I just want the rope to get tight and tight or I can do whatever the voices in my head tell me to do instead like rip off your your head flush it down a potty cut off your toes and send them out to everybody so hopefully one day I'll be all right hopefully one day I'll be back on top standing on ten but I really don't know so here goes the show he's silly voices in my head I should already be dead this little voice is in my head I wish they'd be quiet instead of worrying about everything that happened all the pain and suffering that was said to keep repeating theirs over and over again oh my God I wish I was dead
