No longer pretend👊

[Verse 1] Woke up heavy in a borrowed face Every mirror felt like crowded space Lip corners aching Fake curve in place Practiced that grin like a staircase Teeth showing Heart still in hiding Chest tight But I kept on trying Told myself “better days are arriving” Even when my pulse said I was lying All that pressure Folded Pressed Life on my shoulders Weight on my chest Every “lesson” just felt like a test Like I’m the punchline At my own expense Everybody talking Nobody hears Smiles in public Silence in tears Kept my hurt tucked under the gears Forced out “I’m fine” through grinding fears [Chorus] I had to learn to smile again Even when it felt pretend Pulled that light from deep within Till it didn’t feel like a mask on skin I had to learn to smile again Step by step Breath by breath Now every scar’s a wiser friend I bring my softness with my strength [Verse 2] They said “it builds character” While I broke like cheap glass Hard days stacking like metal on my back Felt compressed Like air in a flat Every “you’ll be stronger” cut a little more ‘Cause they weren’t there When I curled on the floor Talking to the ceiling Asking what for Why’s my “enough” always needing more? Felt like the world was looking past me Numb eyes Cold shoulders walking past me But in that silence I heard my voice Tiny at first Then turning into choice So I forced that hope like I forced that grin Spoke kind words till they sank in Told the mirror “you’re worth it again” Till the echo sounded like a friend Now when the laughter finally finds my face It carries every hard-earned trace Yeah I bend But I don’t erase I feel everything And that’s my grace [Chorus] I had to learn to smile again Even when it felt pretend Pulled that light from deep within Till it didn’t feel like a mask on skin I had to learn to smile again Step by step Breath by breath Now every scar’s a wiser friend I bring my softness with my strength [Bridge] All that hurt Turned to insight All that doubt Taught me my rights I’m not the pain I’m what I did with it Wisdom Sensitivity Compassion infinite (yeah) [Chorus] I had to learn to smile again Even when it felt pretend Pulled that light from deep within Now it rises up from my chest Not my chin I had to learn to smile again I’m walking out of where I’ve been I keep my courage Keep my gentleness I bring my heart with every grin