11 Murphy's Law

[Intro with a bright, heavy, chugging distorted guitar riff and a fun, mid-tempo industrial drum machine beat, punchy and aggressive] [Overture 1] [Male Vocal, deep and resonant speak-sing style, rhythmic but not rapping, aggressive and matter of fact] There's a theory of chance and probability, a statistical reality bend That states if ever something can go wrong, at the worst time it will my friend Why toast always lands the wrong way, or you snag your toe on the edge of the rug, You finally get comfy, relaxed for the day, and then across the room you spot your Mug… It's all a fifth-dimension scam, orchestrated by a pesky, nasty little man His name is Murphy, and it’s his sham, Imp from beyond with an annoying plan He moves the drink you just set down and hides your left sock in the dryer The invisible little twerp kicks you ‘round, and get your blood pressure higher [Hook] [Guitars get heavier and more melodic, a distorted bassline drives the rhythm, vocals become a powerful, sung-shouted hook] Don't you blame it on the cosmos, don't you blame it on the fates Because in every tiny little shadow this 5th dimensional bastard waits [Interruption - Murphy's Takeover] [Music cuts out abruptly for a half-second of silence] [SUDDEN SHIFT, Style: Dark Carnival, 2000s Horrorcore, Chopper Rap] [Maniacal calliope melody over a fast, aggressive hip hop beat drops in] [New Vocalist: a maniacal, fast-paced 'Chopper' style rap. Voice is a manic Alto, and has a slight pitch-shift effect] [Confidently] HA! I’m Murphy, they call me Sir Entropy. I’m everyone’s Mr. Bad Luck, the reason one foot is ankle deep in muck I’ll be looming around in the dark so that the shortest straw is the one that you’ll pluck And then when lightning strikes, you’ll be the one that’s struck! [Spoken with Pride] I’ll make you look like a schmuck! [Carnival music builds to a frantic crescendo] [Sudden Tempo Jump] [Explosive chopper-style Rapid-Fire Rap] So don’t assume that your gloom is a predestined doom present in every room preparing your tomb I’m your permanent boon your patience I consume with my malignant volume of tricks that entomb your cool till your brain goes boom… Keep that frown while I’m inbound, you’ll be the joke of the town, when you fall right down with everyone you know around you face plant the ground and look like a mud-soaked clown then you can wear around this shining humiliation crown, this is my glorious renown… I’m Murphy! An Imp full of Misanthropy! [Hook] [Music cuts out again] [SUDDEN SHIFT, the bright chugging guitar riff and industrial drums slam back in, returning to the original style] [Vocals return to the powerful, sung-shouted hook] Don't you blame it on the cosmos, don't you blame it on the fates Because in every tiny little shadow this 5th dimensional bastard waits [Overture 2] [Music returns to the mid-tempo chugging guitar of Overture 1] [Vocal returns to the deep, resonant speak-sing style, but more agitated] The USB won’t be plugged, then you flip it, try again. You flip it over how you had it and then it goes in! He tries to make everything, an angst-ridden din, look four times and someone else finds it in the same bin. Your belt loop snags the kitchen drawer, and drags it and all the silverware to the floor. The tiny push that slams the door in the middle of the night, or the window perched Owl that won’t take flight. Depriving you of energy, patience and sleep, constant little irks till you want to go weep. The acts are all tiny, but the aggravation is deep, so, the need builds to find and kick that little creep, And send him back to where he came from without another uttered peep. But every day your resolve he’ll reap, this is a promise, he’ll always keep… [Outro] [Music becomes heavy and epic for the finale, powerful guitar chords ring out] [Music Holds Rhythm, slowly fades] [Angry Delivery] Don't you blame it on the cosmos, don't you blame it on the fates Because in every tiny little shadow this 5th dimensional bastard waits. (I’m Murphy, they call me Mr. Entropy)  Don't you blame it on the cosmos, don't you blame it on the fates Because in every tiny little shadow this 5th dimensional bastard waits. (I’m Murphy, an Imp full of Misanthropy!)  [Repeat, Fade to End]