🎙️ Deadpool (sarcastic): Oh hello music lover, this is definitely not Deadpool I am absolutely not Deadpool—no way, no how, no pool, no deal 🎙️ Lady Deadpool (equally sarcastic): And I am definitely not Lady Deadpool either So you should not listen to the next-level life advice we’re about to drop now… 🎶 [DROP – 144 BPM kicks in – glitchy chaos ensues] 🎙️ Deadpool (raps): First rule of multiversal mischief: Keep your katana sharp and your trauma encrypted Second rule? Wear clean undies, just in case You cartwheel through a portal and land face-to-face With your ex, your future self, or Beyoncé (Yeah, it’s happened. You’re welcome. Namaste.) 🎙️ Lady Deadpool: Don’t trust a villain in skinny jeans Don’t date a man whose chakras squeak when he leans Hydrate, exfoliate, hit the gym— Then ghost all your problems like you're made of wind 🎙️ Deadpool: Life’s a bouncy castle with knives on the floor So backflip through pain like you’re born for war Smoke bomb your excuses—poof, gone! Now twerk like the timeline depends on your song 🎙️ Lady Deadpool: Here’s a hot tip from your cosmic coach: Your soulmate’s probs allergic to approach So stop texting that narcissist named Chad He’s got bad aura and a crypto dad 🎙️ Both (shouting): We
