m deep in my work, I’m hitting my flow, When the loudest alarm starts to steal the show. "Attention, please," the voice declares, "Leave the building now; don’t use the stairs!" [Pre-Chorus] (I grab my coat, but not my lunch) Because fire drills always happen at brunch. I shuffle outside with a groaning herd, While Janet complains it’s "just absurd." [Chorus] Oh, the fire drill dance, we’re all in a line, Freezing in the parking lot, wasting our time. With clipboards and whistles, they march in their prime, Like this drill is the Olympics, and they’re set to shine. [Verse 2] Out in the cold, no jackets for some, Steve forgot his shoes—he looks pretty dumb. Karen’s on her phone, Instagramming the sky, While Dave’s in the corner eating a pie. [Pre-Chorus] (Someone jokes, “Is there really a fire?”) While the safety guy looks ready to retire. The boss gives a speech, “We did great today!” And I’m thinking, “We could’ve all just burned away.” [Chorus] Oh, the fire drill game, it’s such a charade, Like we’ll calmly exit if there’s fire or grenades. I’d rather risk flames than this freezing parade, But I guess it's a rule that can’t be swayed. [Bridge] (Guitar slows, spoken:) And what’s the point? It’s chaos inside, In a real fire, you know someone’s gonna hide. Janet will be grabbing her purse and files, While Steve’s still barefoot, running for miles. (Melodic again:) I’d probably trip over the printer wire, And Karen would livestream the whole place on fire. [Chorus] Oh, the fire drill ritual, it’s all a façade, A test of patience, not bravery or God. We’re cold, we’re annoyed, we’re giving a nod, To the safety guy pretending he’s part of the squad. [Outro] We march back in, the alarm fades away, And nothing’s been learned, but hey, it’s okay. Until next month, when they do it again, And I’ll still be questioning... why pretend? (Spoken over final chord:) "At least let us take
