Uninvited

I still feel it in the silence In the pauses in between In the way my hands hesitate Over things that shouldn’t matter It’s not louder than it used to be But it never really left Just learned how to sit beside me Without weighing on my chest I don’t fight it like I used to Don’t pretend it isn’t there I just let it pass right through me Like cool air against my skin Healing doesn’t mean it never happened Doesn’t mean it stops showing up uninvited I’m just not held captive by it like I was yesterday It still calls to me in quiet moments In the hours I can’t sleep But it doesn’t get to decide Who I’m going to be There were nights I couldn’t name it Just a weight I felt in my ribs Like I carried something shifting I didn’t know how to give Tried to outrun all the memories Tried to bury every trace But the deeper that I pushed it The more it filled up space It still shows up sometimes… just not the way it used to I don’t follow it there anymore Healing doesn’t mean it never happened Doesn’t mean it stops showing up uninvited It just means I keep on standing Even when it comes back quiet It still lives somewhere inside me Still finds me now and then But it doesn’t get to decide Who I am becoming