[Intro] [Lively frame drum stomp-and-clap] [Verse 1] [Fast-paced, bouncy lyre strumming] [Whiny, expressive tenor vocals, rapid delivery] I was just trying to make a living On the Tih-REN-ee-an Sea We robbed the men and women With their treasure we sailed free But they dragged aboard a Roman Whose armor shone like gold He offered twice our ransom just to let him keep his soul! [Sharp brass cornu blast] He wrote us plays, he read them loud, he made sure that we knew — "I'll kill you all when this is through, You just wait and see." [Music stops abruptly. Absolute silence.] [Deadpan whisper] And he did. Everyone. Except me. [Chorus] [Explosive Roman Tavern Drop] [Massive sing-along melody, infectious and bright] [Driving frame drums and soaring brass] Caesar bro, can you just go?! I'm the sole survivor, yes I know! You don't have to take off my head Can't I just live quietly instead? I'm not Gaul, I don't need slaying Why is it everywhere I go, you're invading?! I swear, I quit robbing seas Please I'm begging, leave me be! [Verse 2] [Slightly slower, groovy bass-lyre rhythm] [Vocals sound exasperated, bordering on a tantrum] I only lived because I fell into the water Left for dead, In the blood of my friends Saved by someone's Gaulish daughter who stole my heart at her village dance I found peace, I felt at home in this Gaulish village for about a week..... [Rapid hand-drum roll] Until the Romans came to pillage! [Frantic, pitch-shifting vocal delivery] It was him — but how'd he know?! Is this Pluto come to claim my soul?! I kiss my wife! Leave my life! Before I end up in a hole! [Chorus] [Maximum Galloping Energy] [Layered, theatrical vocal harmonies on the hook] Caesar bro, can you just go?! I'm the sole survivor, yes I know! You don't have to take off my head Can't I just live quietly instead? I'm not Gaul, I don't need slaying Why is it everywhere I go, you're invading?! They loved me, life was easy and smooth Till you fucked it — pretty fucking rude! [Verse 3] [Sparse instrumentation, mostly rhythmic clapping and a lone flute] [Sardonic, overly dramatic storytelling tone] I ran to Egypt Far from Roman shields But would you believe it... This man just will not yield. I got a great job, just doing some scribing he's on my cock, consistently conniving I'm lost in the writing. There's no use in fighting. but he's kicking our asses while I was transcribing royal taxes [Bridge] [Tempo steadily accelerates] [Frenzied lyre strumming builds palpable tension] Everywhere I run! Everywhere I hide! Here you come! To ruin my life! So I fled to Rome To bide my time Met Cassius by the stone Said here's a sign! [Tempo reaches breakneck speed] Someone's gotta take Julius down! I can't get any rest with him around! But shit, you'd need 60 guys, maybe 80 at least— tell Brutus it'd be nice if he swept Caesar off his feet [Chorus] [Full Ancient Band Raucous Climax] [Whiny emo belting over a massive, triumphant Roman groove] Caesar bro, can you just go?! I'm the sole survivor, yes I know! You don't have to take off my head Can't I just live quietly instead? I'm not Gaul, I don't need slaying Why is it everywhere I go, you're invading?! [Outro] [Music drops back to just the lonely aulos flute] [Exhausted, spoken-word pacing] I was standing in the crowd When I heard them shout Caesar is dead. Betrayed by his friends. Sad, yeah I guess. But now I'm free. I can rest. Working for Mark Antony. [Loud, discordant lyre twang] Fuck — Octavian just stabbed him in the chest! [End]
