I got assigned to Station 12. Heard stories about this guy, before I even walked in. Twenty years on the job. Living legend. Saved more lives than anyone could count. Couldn't wait to meet him... Quiet guy. Older. Didn't talk much. Nothing special. I thought.. "That's...the legend..?" First call comes in. Everyone moves. I see him in the corner. Pulling on his gear. His hands are shaking. I think maybe... he's just cold. But then I notice... Before every call. The shaking... After the fires, he's worse. Pale. Trembling. Sits alone. I don't get it. Twenty years... and he's still scared? I'm not a coward..! I came here ready. Training was easy. Drills were a rush. I'm good at this. Great even.. The other guys, they hesitate. Not me. I see him watching me sometimes... Like he wants to say something. I think he knows I'm better... Younger... Faster... Fearless... He had his time. This is MINE! Weeks go by. I handle everything they throw at me. Car fires. Kitchen fires. Easy. But I notice... the calls he goes on, they're different... They're bad ones. The ones where people are still inside. And every time, before he gets in the truck, the shaking... I think, "How is he still doing this... if he's that afraid?" I'm never afraid... I'd never shake. The alarm screams. Apartment building. Third floor fully involved. People still trapped inside... This is it... THE BIG ONE! Everyone's moving fast. Gear on. Truck rolling. I feel it... the adrenaline. The RUSH! I'm ready...! We pull up. The building is an inferno. Flames busting through windows. Smoke so thick... you can't see the sky. People screaming on the street! "My daughter! She's still in there!" The heat hits me... This...isn't like the other calls... And suddenly... I can't move. It's not like training. This isn't a drill... This is real. The heat is melting my coat. The smoke is choking... even with the mask... I try to move. My legs won't obey.. The captain's yelling. "We need to move! Now!" But I'm frozen. I look over. I'm not the only one. This...is bad. The vet is staring at the building. His hands are shaking... worse than I've ever seen. He looks terrified. But then... He runs in... He runs. Into the flames. Alone. Disappears... into the smoke. And I'm standing here. Frozen... Useless... I thought I was ready. I thought I was brave..! But I'm not. I'm...nothing... Minutes feel like hours. The building groans. The structure's failing. Bricks are falling... The captain is on the radio. "Get out! Get out now!" He's still in there... Why...did I let him go in..? Then...I see movement. He's there. In the doorway. Stumbling. Carrying a little girl... in his arms. His mask on her face... She's clutching a kitten. Both alive. He sets them down... and collapses on the grass. Gasping. Shaking so hard... I think he's seizing. The medics rush over. The girl is crying but... she's okay. He saved her. She saved her kitten. He was terrified..! And he saved them both... I walk over. He's sitting on the curb... Still shaking. Can barely hold, the oxygen mask, to his face. I sit next to him. I don't know what to say. "How...did you do that? You were so scared..." He nods. Doesn't look at me. "Every time," he says. His voice is hoarse. "But you went anyway." He looks at me... Tired eyes... "That's the job." I realize it now... I was never brave. I didn't know what I was walking into. But he knew... He KNEW exactly what was in there... The heat. The smoke. The terror. And he went.. anyway. He's the bravest guy I've ever met... I don't have that...yet. But maybe... Maybe I can learn.
