{Verse 1] He was sick and dying, Had just been through a wreck. I was trained to save his life, I knew just what came next. I knew the right compressions, How to stop the bleeding too, But fate had other plans for us... And here's what I had to do. {pre chorus] I reached into the safety kit, Following every rule, While the seconds kept on slipping by— Protocol can be cruel. [Chorus} I was busy putting on The proper Personal Protective Equipment! Every buckle, every strap, Every safety requirement. This added time, And compounded the crime. I was too slow to act, Getting goggles, masks, and gloves on. By the time I finished dressing up, The emergency was gone! [Verse 2] First the nitrile gloves went on, But wait—they weren't my size. Then the goggles fogged so badly I could barely use my eyes. The mask was upside-down at first, The gown tied in a knot. The poor guy needed CPR... I looked ready for a moonwalk. [Chorus] I was busy putting on The proper Personal Protective Equipment! Checking every little box, For maximum compliance. This added time, And compounded the crime. I was too slow to act, Getting goggles, masks, and gloves on. If paperwork gave out medals, I'd have surely won! [Bridge] The clipboard yelled, "Procedure!" The clock yelled, "Move your feet!" My training and my common sense Were fighting in the street. The ambulance pulled up and asked, "Why's he still on the ground?" I said, "Hang on just one more minute... My face shield's not spun 'round." [Final Chorus] I was busy putting on The proper Personal Protective Equipment! Looking like a scientist Prepared for every incident. This added time, And compounded the crime. I was too slow to act, Getting goggles, masks, and gloves on. Next time I'll know the rules by heart— And hope they go on just as fast! [Outro] So here's a lesson, friends of mine, With a wink and little grin: It's hard to save the day on time When you're still trying to zip yourself in. Safety matters, that's the truth— No argument from me... But comedy lives in the moments when The checklist beats CPR by three.
