[Intro] [Band hits once.] [Dead stop] [Spoken:] “Okay just… text them back dude.” [Snare count-in] One Two Three Four! [Verse 1] Typed “on my way” Phone said “I obey” Why would I say that? Who talks like that? Sent “haha nice” It flipped to “I’m your wife” Now I’m engaged To my waitress (hey!) Try “cool” It morphs to “you’re a fool” Now my group chat Planning my exile [Pre-Chorus] My thumb is innocent This keyboard’s violent Every little typo Starts a tiny riot [Chorus] AUTO-CORRECT! (hey!) Turning all my chill to wrecked (woah!) I just wanna text Not confess my soul Every single word spins out of control What the heck?! Tiny glitch Full body stress It’s a minor Minor Minor Minor MELTDOWN! [Band stop] [Spoken:] “…did it just send?” [Band SLAMS back in] [Verse 2] Typed “let’s hang out” Became “let’s make out” Now my boss thinks HR is my spouse Wrote “happy b-day” It swapped to “I’m betrayed” That was my grandma She left me on read “Congrats on the baby” Turned “you’re acting crazy” Hit send too fast Now I’m blocked on everything [Pre-Chorus] My screen is smug I swear it’s mocking me Little red bubble Big anxiety [Chorus] AUTO-CORRECT! (hey!) Tiny phone Huge side effects (woah!) I just wanna say “sup See you at two” Now it’s “meet me on the moon in a penguin suit” What the heck?! Tiny slip Lifetime of regret It’s a minor Minor Minor Minor MELTDOOOOWN [Band stop] [Spoken:] “…do I move cities?” [Drum fill back to chaos] [Bridge] [Music drops to tom rolls and spooky surf guitar] Listen- I am a good person. I floss… sometimes. I recycle… occasionally. I don’t deserve this digital betrayal. This isn’t just a typo, This is a lifestyle crime. This is my social life. Dangling By a Predictive Text Thread They’ll study this in history “The Great Autocorrect Catastrophe” Whole friendships Whole crushes Lost to one cursed “duck” [Chorus] AUTO-CORRECT! (hey!) Turning every text grotesque (woah!) I just try to chat Now I start a war Over “kinda busy” changed to “you’re a bore” What the heck?! Tiny phone Emotional wreck It’s a minor Minor Minor Minor MELTDOWN [Gang:] MELTDOWN! MELTDOWN [Gang:] MELTDOWN! [Outro] [Band stops] [Spoken:] “New message sent.”
