[Intro] Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! or a cask, a crate a carton, a cargo hold full whatever keeps yer tongue loose and yer boots on the floor [Verse] Six pirates on my list (ho!) and I’m the navigator now smiling sweet and swaying drunk (yes!) while vengeance shows me how Six pirates left to make my quota true and every one’s a cosmic fool [Verse] Pirate One is gone popped a hole in his tank (BOOF!) He strutted round the deck braggin’ like he had the biggest (Rank!) Idiot never checked his suit the void sucked him like a thirsty wench More booty for the rest (ha ha!) [Drop] Number Two is cooked, burned to a crisp (SPICY!) He bent over those vents like he was courtin’ something feisty Old ship, hot pipes, bad choices he roasted like a tavern hog Crew said he smelled delicious I said (pour another grog) [Chorus] I’ve been on this ship too long my revenge has been slow but another pirate’s down there were six now only four to go. [Verse] The third is gone drifting in the void (gone!) His tether snapped in twain like cheap lace on a dancer’s thong Engines kissed him once (crispy!) and he spun off like a drunk in zero‑G trying to remember where his pants may be [Verse] Four met his fate cleaning his gun (BOOM!) He polished that barrel lovingly whispering sweet nothings to the grip You’d think he’d know the basics but he blew himself to bits More booty for the rest (yay!) and fewer idiots on the shift [Chorus] I’ve been on this ship too long my revenge has been slow but another pirate’s down there were four now only two to go. [Verse] Five is spot‑welded literally stuck in place (TARGET!) He leaned too close to the arc torch like he wanted a warm embrace Suit fused to the deck marines laughed till they cried He might be still there screaming (Don’t leave me!) We did, With pride [Verse] Six was the last (POP GOES THE PIRATE!) His suit exploded wide like a keg tapped by a riot Poor bastard got no booty no rum, no last request just a bang, not even a scream and me raising my glass (ha ha ha!) [Final Chorus] I’ve been on this ship too long my revenge has been slow but another pirate’s down there were six now my honour’s whole [Outro] I am a pirate and I had my revenge Now comes the moment to plan my escape before the crew sobers up and starts asking questions I ain’t drunk enough to say
