[Intro][sleigh bells] (....) [christmas carol singers] ...Oh, oh, oh !.. It's time to deck the halls, you know With glitter, guilt, and mistletoe! WITH GLITTER GUILT AND... MISTLETOOOOE !! [drums kick] [Verse 1][joyful] The wishlist grows the credit’s maxed We’re stuffing stockings full of tax ! A game of “who can spend the most,” On things we’ll later sell or post. ( "ON THINGS WE'LL LATER SELL OR POST !") The wrapping’s flashy, the smiles are fake And joy comes served on a paper plate. [Chorus] Oh Oh No ! Oh, oh, oh, it’s Christmas cheer ! Let’s buy some joy to last the year ! Oh Oh No ! Santa’s home is a factory grim, Where elves toil hard on a corporate whim. [instrumental interlude][cheerful] [Verse 2] The North Pole’s not the dream they sell It’s smokestacks puffing a plastic smell. The elves are bent on assembly lines, No cocoa breaks, no overtime. (" NO COCOA BREAKS NO OVERTIIIME !") The jolly boss in his suit of red Is counting profits while they’re underfed ! [Bridge 1] ho-ho-no ! ho ho no ! Oh, it’s ho-ho-ho and fa-la-la But don’t ask questions, it’s a faux pas The toys we buy are landfill-bound Wrapped in ribbons that cost a pound. ho-ho-no ! ho ho no ! [Instrumental solo][cheerful accordion] (.....) (.....) (.....) [Chorus] oh oh no ! Oh, oh, oh, the season’s bright ! With tinsel hiding the workers’ plight. Santa’s workshop’s a nightmare zone Where holiday dreams are overthrown. [Verse 3] We gather ‘round for the annual feast, Pretend we like our neighbor at least. “Did you love my gift?” they awkwardly say While planning their return next day. ("PLANNING THEIR RETURN NEXT DAY !") It’s all a show, a festive race Where love’s replaced by empty space.
