here's a tale of woe Muthafuckin' woe Yo, just woke up, yeah fuckin' time to get high But I've run out of the chronic, zero fuckin' supply So I'm off to see Loose Hole, the G with the herb But shit, last week I hit that hobo on the kerb How do I get to Loose, and get that sweet smoke When the muthafuckin' pigs, my license they revoked? What the fuck to do, can't think when I'm straight From my plan, I have to fuckin' deviate Stumblin' round in a fuckin' fog of sobriety In this un-stoned state I'm no good for society Accidentally kick the cat, sorry pussy, see ya Then it arrives, a motherfuckin' idea Before you hit the bong, a match you gotta strike And before they built the car, they built the fucking bike Scratching through wardrobes for bicycle attire Sweating like a homeboy who's wearing a fucking wire When a thought hits, and a question it axes Ride a fucking bike, am I up to the takses? Got no tight shorts like on the fuckin' Tour De France So I'm wearing my wife's fuckin' maternity pants Gotta hurry fuckin' up, my brain startin' to sizzle Do I take an umbrella? No, that's just "fo' drizzle" Standing in the garage starin' at this machine Muthafuckin' thing is pink, with tassles: green The question axed earlier, looms fuckin' prominent My lack of THC says, 'be fuckin' dominant" Three fuckin' miles of road, to get to Loose Hole On my little girl's bike, I'm gonna see my own asshole Cause I just realised, somethin' that fuckin' scares I haven't ridden a fuckin' bike ...for thirty fuckin' years Now I got the fuckin' fear, start to procrastinate Wanna lay some fuckin' blame, hand out a little hate Those muthafuckin' cops, that hobo's doin' fine I'm paying hospital bills, buying good fuckin' wine I'm an upstanding guy, why'd they fuckin' do it? I've done less time than Martha fuckin' Stewart Naw, G-Martha's cool, she's a solid chill bitch On the inside she shivved a muthafuckin' snitch So be nice, right now she might not be in the joint Just remember that she makes a fuckin' good point I guess it's time to fuckin' do this, I ain't smoked jack My muthafuckin' maternity pants are riding up my crack Thinking of this ride leaves me cold, I start to shiver Catch my reflection in the fuckin' handlebar mirror I look like a pilot who missed his own fuckin' flight I didn't know my eyes could get that fuckin' white I get this thing under me, trying to fuckin' feel her Humourless laugh: I'll be pedaling to my dealer Then suddenly something restores the zeitgeist I believe in you now, Jesus titty-fucking Christ See my own asshole Kick the cat ] Fuck me, I've never heard a worse fuckin' solo Go to the hospital, and play for the fuckin' hobo I'm so fuckin' upset, that you made me miss a rhyme Like I'm Jimmy Pop and you're Calvin fuckin' Klein You better get moving, get on your fuckin' way Hope they refund your fuckin' trumpet lessons today Anyway, that's the end of my little fuckin' story I couldn't believe how that disaster turned to glory Fuck you! I'd never skip over the fuckin' end like that! But I'm high as fuck, so... Hey, have you seen my cat? So I'm straddling this bike, I'm ready to die, see? When I look down and have a muthafuckin' epiphany In that damn basket between the fuckin' handlebars A dimebag stuffed with buds and I fuckin' see stars I drop the bike so fast the fucking Flash couldn't catch it before it hits the ground, I've rolled a fattie - fuckin' mad shit Right then I didn't care that my daughter was fuckin' smoking I got down to the business of some serious fuckin' toking And that's how this shit all fuckin' ended happily Except for... uhm... "here pussy pussy?"
