[INTRO] (spoken, over sleigh-bells) Ho… hold up. [VERSE 1] I’ve been tapin’ up boxes since before Wi-Fi Red suit, white beard, still don’t get a “nice try” Mall line snakes past the pretzel stand And every kid’s got a ring light in their tiny hand They call it “holiday magic” like it just appears Like my knees don’t ache in these hundred-year gears They slap my face on a latte, put my name on a deal Then tag the brand—forget the man behind the wheel [PRE-CHORUS] I’m not your Prime, I don’t do two-day miracles North Pole’s backed up, snowed in, and cynical And if one more influencer says “We did it!” I swear I’m about to… [CHORUS] Santa’s mad—yeah, Santa’s mad I’m the midnight overtime nobody ever tags You take the credit, I take the cold You take the selfie, I haul the load Santa’s mad—don’t push your luck I’m one “sponsored unboxing” from callin’ it done If you keep on believin’ like I’m some app you had Merry Christmas, baby… Santa’s mad [VERSE 2] Elves in the workshop got a group chat blowin’ up Talkin’ hazard pay ‘cause the glitter won’t come off Rudolph wants a manager, Dasher wants a cut Somebody filed a complaint ‘bout the sleigh’s exhaust puff Meanwhile your uncle posts “Look what WE got y’all!” Like he hand-stitched dolls in a North Pole hall Cookies on the counter, milk in the sink I left you a present—could you at least leave a thanks? [PRE-CHORUS] I’m not a logo, I’m not a photo op I’m a tired old saint with a broken watch But I keep showin’ up, year after year… So don’t make me say it— [CHORUS] Santa’s mad—yeah, Santa’s mad I’m the midnight overtime nobody ever tags You take the credit, I take the cold You take the selfie, I haul the load Santa’s mad—don’t push your luck I’m one “sponsored unboxing” from callin’ it done If you keep on believin’ like I’m some app you had Merry Christmas, baby… Santa’s mad [BRIDGE] (half-time feel) But then I hear them little feet down the hallway One small whisper, like a prayer in the doorway A kid says, “Please don’t quit… I wrote you myself.” And my whole old heart just melts— (spoken) Alright. One more run. [FINAL CHORUS] Santa’s mad—yeah, Santa’s mad But I still put the wonder where your worry’s at You take the credit, I take the cold Still do it ‘cause love ain’t bought or sold Santa’s mad—so here’s the deal: Say thank you, mean it—make it real And if you keep on believin’ in the good we had Merry Christmas, baby… Santa’s glad Santa’s mad… (laughs) Santa’s glad [OUTRO] (spoken) Tell the elves… we’ll talk Monday
