Woke up drunk in a stranger’s yard Boot on my neck from the rent-a-guard Tried to explain I was “born this way” He wrote “moron” on the ticket anyway Pulled out my phone like a legal ace Showed him a meme Not a legal case He said “Son You got the right to remain dumb” As he zip-tied friendship on my thumbs I fought the law (but the law beat the shit out of me) Police choir go (oh! oh-oh-oh!) Thought I was cool Till they tackled me on live TV They rang my bell Then they rang up a hefty fee I fought the law (but the law beat the shit out of me) (oh! oh-oh-oh!) Judge asked “Why were you on that cow?” I said “Free country It’s my ride now” He said “Son That’s the sheriff’s wife” Apparently that’s a “threat to life” Tried one call Hit my ex instead She said “New number Lose my head” Public defender took one quick glance “Your best defense is a little romance with chance” I fought the law (but the law beat the shit out of me) Police choir go (oh! oh-oh-oh!) Thought I was punk Turns out I’m just dumb and free Signed my rights Like a merch stand receipt I fought the law (but the law beat the shit out of me) (oh! oh-oh-oh!) Yeah I read my rights off a crumpled sleeve “Wash cold Don’t chew Don’t leave” Asked the cop “Man We cool?” He said “Buddy I’m not that fooled” I fought the law (but the law beat the shit out of me) Cop choir go (oh! oh-oh-oh!) Tried to stand tall Face-first met the concrete Now I salute Every speed sign that I see I fought the law (but the law beat the shit out of me) (oh! oh-oh-oh!) Yeah I fought the law And the law kicked it out of me
