[Verse 1 – J (semi-slurred)] I hit the field like a かいじゅう beast, Got my ガンダム buckets, peace to the East. One full of chicken, greasy delight, Other’s got Strong Zero—two-liter flight. Certified せんぱい on my tee, PTA moms all starin’ at me. Kid’s relay race? Nah, this is war. Yelled “やったぜ!” and hit the floor. ⸻ [Chorus – Trey (karaoke power ballad)] 🎶 Two buckets on my back, and I’m feelin’ right, Zig-zag through the dust like a satellite, Strong Zero in my veins, wings of fried might, Certified Senpai, bringin’ shame to the night 🎶 ⸻ [Verse 2 – Trey] Criss-cross straps like a battle mech, Flip-flops flyin’, lost all respect. Moms whisper, “かわいい… but ざんねん,” I bless ‘em all with a greasy amen. One dad yelled, “おい！” across the sand, I roared: 「バケツをとれよ、でぶやろう！」 — strong in command. ⸻ [Bridge – みほ (soft and sad)] 🎶 あなたは なにしてるの… ストゼロと からあげじゃなくて こどもを みて 🎶 ⸻ [Verse 3 – トレヴァーこうはい (nervous rap)] せんぱい, please… just sit down, You’re trending again for shaming the town. I looked up to you, but this is too much— You puked in the sandbox and stole someone’s lunch. ⸻ [Final Chorus – All, shouting proudly] 🎶 Two buckets on my back, I’m a walking shame, Kids try to race while I chant my name, Colonel Sanders hatin’, but it’s all the same, Certified Senpai — this is how we game 🎶 ⸻ [Outro – shamisen twang, kazoo crash] (ふらふら…ドーン！) うんどうかい、またらいねん！ But first… someone help me off this tarp. I think I spilled the Strong.
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