“Where the Hell’s My Phone?” (Funky Comedy Groove) (Verse 1) I used to know my neighbor’s name, knock knock on his door Now I text him from the driveway, he don’t answer anymore Long distance operator, can you patch me through my brain? I forgot my own damn number, call me back again I had a paper little black book, numbers written tight Now my contacts disappear if I drop this thing just right Used to talk for hours, now it’s thumbs and autocorrect “I love you” turns to “lobster”—what the heck is that effect? (Pre-Chorus) Dial zero, get a human—ain’t that ancient history? Now I’m yelling at a robot, “Representative, please!” (Chorus) Where the hell’s my phone? (Where’d it go?) It’s in my hand, but I still don’t know Can’t live without it, can’t put it down It runs my life, it runs this town From love to loss to GPS tone— I’d be lost without my phone But I don’t talk like I used to… no (Verse 2) Directory assistance, 4-1-1 was the call Now I ask a glassy rectangle hanging on my wall “Hey, what’s the weather?” “Hey, what’s the time?” “Hey, can you remind me how to live my life?” We got group chats buzzing like a hornet in my jeans Fifty unread messages, sayin’ nothin’ in between We got emojis crying, laughing, hearts and flames and thumbs But I ain’t heard a real voice since two thousand twenty-one (Pre-Chorus) Used to hear the breath between the words we’d say Now it’s dots that blink… then fade away (Chorus) Where the hell’s my phone? (Check again) In the fridge or with my friends? I panic first, then I recall It’s been runnin’ me since my first call From midnight scroll to early morn— I wake up tired and twice as worn And I don’t talk like I used to… no (Bridge – funky breakdown) Operator! Operator! Can you hear me clear? I’m surrounded by a million voices, still nobody here Swipe left, swipe right, scroll down, repeat Got a world in my pocket but no one on my street (Break – spoken/funky) “Battery low.” Yeah, me too. (Verse 3) We record every moment but forget to live the day Got a thousand perfect pictures, but the feeling slipped away Used to sit in silence, now we fill it with a feed We don’t even miss each other—we just like and then we leave (Pre-Chorus) If I lose this thing, would I finally be free? …Or just wander ‘round in circles lookin’ desperately? (Final Chorus) Where the hell’s my phone? (Don’t you know?) It’s the leash I never show It connects me, pulls me apart It’s in my head, it’s in my heart From “call me maybe” to dial tone— I built my world inside this phone But I don’t talk like I used to… No, I don’t talk like I used to… (Outro) Operator… can you patch me through… To a real conversation… like we used to do? 🎶
