[Verse 1: Nasal high-pitched male MC, squeaky and proud] Second period's over and we're losin' seven-zip Home team limpin' to the tunnel with a fat and bloody lip Gate swings open, here I come at nine miles an hour Ridin' on a tank of steamin' water like a throne of power Crowd starts booin' 'fore my tires even touch the white Kid behind the glass is flippin' me off with all his might Twenty years I laid the sheet for every game they ever played Twenty years of boos for the smoothest ice that's ever made I don't skate, I don't shoot, I don't own a single stick I drive a giant squeegee and I do it real slick Little laps that overlap, every stripe a perfect seam I'm the only guy in the building doin' his job like a dream [Chorus: Nasal high-pitched male MC, gleeful] Fresh sheet, clean slate, lay it down Every scratch you left tonight, I wipe it off this town Boo me, I don't care, I'm the smoothest guy around Fresh sheet, clean slate, lay it down [Verse 2: Nasal high-pitched male MC, faster and faster] Third period's a funeral, it's nine to one by now Fans are throwin' pretzels at the bench and cussin' loud Somebody up in the cheap seats starts a chant, it's my name Then the whole arena's yellin' it, nobody's watchin' the game Sick of all the losin', they just want a guy who wins Every night I win, my ice is perfect, every lap, every spin Owner in his skybox rubs his temples, makes a call Says get the driver out there, give 'em somethin' after all TV timeout, here I come, a lap that nobody planned Thirteen thousand on their feet, the goalie's clappin' with his hand [Bridge: Nasal high-pitched male MC, banner unfurl, snare roll held] Lights go down, the spotlight climbs Up the rafters one more time Banner comes unrollin' slow And it's got my name, whoa [Chorus: Nasal high-pitched male MC, gleeful] Fresh sheet, clean slate, lay it down Every scratch you left tonight, I wipe it off this town Boo me, I don't care, I'm the smoothest guy around Fresh sheet, clean slate, lay it down [Verse 3: Nasal high-pitched male MC, squealing with joy] Number zero, the driver, hangin' next to all the greats Team still lost that night eleven-two, but nobody hates Kid behind the glass is cryin' and he wants my picture signed Captain shakes my hand and says your ice is the only thing we got right Now I wave from the machine and the whole place waves back Nine miles an hour, baby, on a victory track [Chorus: Nasal high-pitched male MC, gleeful] Fresh sheet, clean slate, lay it down Every scratch you left tonight, I wipe it off this town Boo me, I don't care, I'm the smoothest guy around Fresh sheet, clean slate, lay it down [Outro: Nasal high-pitched male MC, rubber-band bass rings out] Nine miles an hour and I'm never late [End]
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