[Verse 1] They're punctual, precise, and never smile They file their socks and march in style They build a wall, then build it twice Efficiency is their device [Verse 2] They drink their beer in measured sips Then drive their cars like battleships They follow rules like sacred text And plan their holidays till next next next [Chorus] The Germans are coming, better clean your room They’ll judge your chaos and your vacuum With sandals, socks, and silent rage They'll conquer comfort, page by page The Germans are coming, don’t be late! They’re five weeks early — isn’t that great? [Verse 3] They grill with fire, rain or snow And bring their chairs where’er they go Their humor’s dry, like day-old toast But give them rules — they’ll love you most [Bridge – mock-dramatic, with orchestra hit] They alphabetize their thoughts at night And argue grammar just for spite Don’t cut the cake unevenly… They’ll call a meeting! Form a committee! [Chorus – with yodel echoes or oompah band] The Germans are coming, with bread and jam Prepared for war or traffic jam With maps, umbrellas, travel boots And 16 forms for buying fruits The Germans are coming — ja, it’s true And now they’re organizing you! [Outro – fading into joyful chaos] So raise a beer and shout “Prost!” loud They’ll fix the world — and stay proud They’re early, odd, and slightly stern… But damn, they make a train return!
