Burn the Flowchart

"Guten Tag! I am Doktor Kuddelmuddel!" I see your flowcharts, neat and clean The most pathetic thing I’ve ever seen You speak of "Value" and "Efficiency" But that sounds like a prison cell to me! I take your Lean boards, toss them in the fire I am the architect of the muck and the mire! You want a 'Standard Operating Procedure'? I’ll give you a fever, a structural seizure! Six Sigma? Zero! Just look in my eyes I’m here to watch your productivity die! Kuddelmuddel! The master of the mess! I bring the panic, I bring the stress! Destroy the process, burn the plan I’ve done it this way since time began! No Change Management! No new light! We stay in the darkness! We stay in the fight! "Continuous Improvement"? What a joke! I’ll put a rusted wrench in every spoke. It worked in '80, it worked in '94 So why would I open a digital door? Keep the paper, keep the waste Let the bitterness be all you taste! Don’t talk to me about "Agile" ways I prefer the foggy, ancient days. No transparency, no clear role Just pure confusion for your soul! IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN THIS WAY! Kuddelmuddel! The master of the mess! I bring the panic, I bring the stress! Destroy the process, burn the plan I’ve done it this way since time began! No Change Management! No new light! We stay in the darkness! We stay in the fight! Stagnation is my passion!" Process terminated.