[INTRO — clean guitar, low distorted hum] I learned what makes you flinch. Not by accident. I watched. I learned which words make you quiet, which halls you hate, which names you never answer to. I learned how to wreck your morning before you saw me. And somehow— I called that getting closer. [VERSE 1] I stole the notes you wrote all night, tore the pages, dropped them at your feet. Moved your chair when you weren't looking, laughed when you hit the floor. I told your friends one private secret I was never meant to know. Watched them look at you differently, wondered if you'd blame me when they'd go. I scratched your name from every group assignment, made sure they picked you last. I'd whisper rumors, just loud enough for you to hear them as I passed. I learned what embarrassed you. Then made it public. Not because I hated you. That would've been easier. I needed you thinking of me when I wasn't there. [PRE-CHORUS] I knew which nerve to touch. I knew where to press. I'd smile when you got angry, memorize the look you gave me. You thought I wanted you miserable. Maybe I did. 'Cause misery meant you couldn't ignore me. [CHORUS — explosive grunge guitars] So I became the nightmare waiting at the end of every hall. The voice behind your shoulder. The reason you hated lunch. I turned your weaknesses into weapons in my hands. Then laughed like it was funny when I watched you understand. I made you dread tomorrow so you'd remember me tonight. I kept calling it a game 'cause “obsession” didn't sound right. Every cruel thing I did was another way to make you look. And if you couldn't stand me— At least you couldn't overlook me. [VERSE 2 — darker, heavier] I started leaving messages where only you would find them. Nothing anyone else could prove. Nothing anyone else could see. A note inside your locker. Your name carved into your desk. A harmless photograph with a warning underneath. Then I'd watch you search the room. I'd sit three seats away, pretend I hadn't noticed. You'd look over. I'd smile. That was enough. I started showing up wherever you went, not close enough to call it following. Just close enough to make you wonder. You'd change your route home. I'd know. You'd stop sitting by the window. I'd notice. Every boundary you built became one more thing to test. And every time you changed something because of me— I felt like I'd won. [PRE-CHORUS — stripped to bass and voice] Then one day you asked, “Why do you keep doing this?” I almost told you. I almost said— Because you're the first thought I have when I wake up. Because I notice everything. Because when you hate me, at least you're looking at me. Instead— I laughed. And watched something in your face close forever. [CHORUS — heavier, uglier] Now I'm the shadow you check for before you turn around. The footsteps that make you hurry. The voice that makes you shut down. I wanted your attention. I got your fear instead. And somewhere in my stupid head I called that success. I told myself you'd understand someday. You'd finally connect the dots. That all this cruelty had to mean something because otherwise— I'm just what you thought. A cruel boy who liked hurting you. [BREAKDOWN — distorted guitar, nearly whispered] Maybe that's what scares me. Not that you hate me. That sometimes— I like watching you realize I'm there. [BRIDGE — almost spoken] I practiced the apology. Again. Again. Again. “I’m sorry.” No. “I shouldn't have—” No. “I like you.” God. No. Then I heard your voice down the hall and every rehearsed word was gone. You looked happy. Without me. And something ugly moved through my chest. For one second I understood what I'd done. Then the old voice whispered: Make her notice you. So I did. Of course I did. [FINAL CHORUS — slow, crushing] I'm not asking you to forgive me. I'm not asking you to understand. I wanted to matter and made myself the thing you fear. I wanted you thinking about me. Now you do. I wanted you watching the doorway. Now you do. I wanted to live inside your head— And I got exactly what I wanted. Just not the way I imagined. So if you don't accept my apology, Fine. I'll go back to what I know. The jokes. The whispers. The little things nobody else notices. I'll find every crack you hide and tap until it breaks. I'll make you angry. I'll make you stare. I'll make you wonder what I'm going to do next. And maybe someday, when you're sick of running— You'll finally stop. You'll finally look at me. You'll finally understand: Every cruel little thing was me screaming, “Please notice me.” [OUTRO — clean guitar returns] Tomorrow I'll see you in the hallway. You'll look away. I'll smile. And I'll say something cruel. Because that's what I do when I don't know how to say— Hello.
