(intro emceed by our host EmCee Bass Addict Welcome to hardbass anonymous - a twelve step program for hardbass addicts, who need hard bass every day and every night! Now welcome Doctor Hardbass. [Verse rapped by Doctor Hardbass, a doctor of hardbass and a gifted british emcee, from Kent] Greetings fellow hardbass addicts My name is Doctor Hardbass And I'm here to make a confession I am an addict I need hardbass I am nothing without hardbass If I go one day without hardbass I am a weakling A nobody When I wake up I hear hardbass In the shower I hear hardbass On the bus I hear hardbass At school I hear hardbass In my bed I hear hardbass When I die I will hear hardbass My friends say "Hey Doctor Hardbass You need to stop It's not good for your health You're gonna go deaf and crazy" And I say "Who the fuck is Doctor Hardbass? I am an MC Motherfucker MC Doctor Hardbass So Do you want hardbass or not? Hardbass anonymous We need hardbass So give us hardbass" So my fellow addicts I need you to say it with me Say it with me [Chorus] I need hardbass I need hardbass I need hardbass I need hardbass [Verse 2 rapped by Mister Hardbass, a British crackheaded old hardbass emcee from Brighton] Good evening Ladies and gentlemen I am MC Mister Hardbass My life is pain and misery My girlfriend has left me My car is on fire My father does not love me My house has been demolished But all of that is okay Because I have hardbass And if I have hardbass Nothing can hurt me You cannot hurt me And you may be wondering What is a guy like me doing listening to hardbass? I am not an alcoholic I am not a wife-beater And I am not an English chav But I am an MC So you cannot question me But I have to ask you one question Do you want hardbass? I know you want hardbass Say it with me Say it with me [Chorus] I need hardbass I need hardbass I need hardbass I need hardbass (Verse 3: Rapped by Sister Hardbass, A high-energy, slightly manic female MC from Manchester, who views hardbass as a religious experience and a distraction from her poor life choices) Yo, I'm Sister Hardbass, here to preach the word The holy sermon, the sickest you ever heard! I'm a mess, yeah, I'm broke, yeah, I lost my job last week But put a beat on, mate, and I'm totally unique! Forget your yoga, forget your therapist's couch This 150 BPM is the only thing I vouch For, innit? The bass drum is my spiritual guide Keeps the demons and the bailiffs from coming inside. I tried to quit, I did, I lasted three whole hours Then I smashed my alarm clock, plugged in the power! Doctor Hardbass, Mister Hardbass, look at my eyes! We are the faithful, beneath these bass-filled skies! I don't need detox, I don't need a cure I just need the triplet rhythm straight through my floor! So come on, you slackers, you lookin' all stressed! We need the sound that puts all other sounds to the test! [Chorus] I need hardbass I need hardbass I need hardbass I need hardbass
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