[Intro – Playful Southern Rock Guitar, Bouncy Bass] [Male Vocal – Spoken] Hey Betty! I’m going grocery shopping. Wanna come? [Female Vocal – Spoken] Well, honey, give me five minutes. I’m ready! [Male Vocal – Spoken] Five minutes? Oh, this oughta be interesting. [Female Vocal – Spoken] Just drive, sweetheart! [Verse 1 – Male Vocal] I needed some groceries, so I called up Betty, Said, “Hey, I’m going shopping!” [Female Vocal] “Well, I’m already ready!” [Male Vocal] We got to the store, I said, “Oh, I forgot my list!” [Female Vocal] She held hers up and said, “Here, use this!” [Male Vocal – Spoken] Betty, none of this stuff is mine! [Female Vocal – Spoken] Well, it is now! [Chorus – Both Vocals, Playful and Loud] We’re shopping with Betty, Lord, what a ride! Neither one of us knows what we’re doing inside! We came for groceries, got lost in aisle three, She’s following me, and I’m following Betty! We don’t need a list, we don’t need a plan, Just two confused shoppers with a cart in hand! And if we get home with nothing we need, At least we had fun, just Betty and me! [Verse 2 – Male Vocal] We walked down aisle one, I said, “Why are we here?” [Female Vocal] “I don’t know, honey, but I’m glad that’s clear!” [Male Vocal] She grabbed something off the shelf, said, “Do you need this?” [Female Vocal] “Well, I need one, so you probably do!” [Male Vocal – Spoken] Betty, what the heck is it? [Female Vocal – Spoken] I haven’t got a clue! [Verse 3 – Male Vocal] Next aisle over, she said, “Why are we here?” [Female Vocal] “Honey, I thought you knew! You’re the one who steered!” [Male Vocal] “I think it was something about the colour blue.” [Female Vocal] “They’re all the same! What’s wrong with you?” [Male Vocal – Spoken] Betty, I think we’re lost. [Female Vocal – Laughing] Well, I was following you, my dear! [Chorus – Both Vocals] We’re shopping with Betty, Lord, what a ride! Neither one of us knows what we’re doing inside! We came for groceries, got lost in aisle three, She’s following me, and I’m following Betty! We don’t need a list, we don’t need a plan, Just two confused shoppers with a cart in hand! And if we get home with nothing we need, At least we had fun, just Betty and me! [Instrumental Break – Funny Twangy Guitar Solo] [Verse 4 – Male Vocal] We finally hit checkout, stuff everywhere, Betty turned and smiled with that mischievous stare. [Female Vocal – Spoken] Hey, sweetheart, do you wear underwear? [Male Vocal – Spoken, Confused] Uhhh… yeah? [Female Vocal – Spoken] Well? [Male Vocal – Spoken] Wait. Are you asking for later? Or are mine showing somewhere? [Female Vocal – Laughing] OH MY GOODNESS! I WAS ASKING IF YOU NEEDED TO BUY SOME! [Male Vocal – Spoken] Well, Betty, you could’ve led with that! [Female Vocal – Spoken] I DID! [Bridge – Playful Back-and-Forth] [Male Vocal] We got six cans of something and a garden hose! [Female Vocal] Three bags of cookies and some pantyhose! [Male Vocal] A rubber duck, a candle, and a bag of rice! [Female Vocal] Well, that rubber duck was half price! [Male Vocal – Spoken] Betty, where’s the milk? [Female Vocal – Spoken] What milk? [Male Vocal – Spoken] THE MILK WE CAME HERE FOR! [Female Vocal – Spoken] Oh, for heaven’s sake! [Final Chorus – Both Vocals, Big Southern Rock Finish] We’re shopping with Betty, Lord, what a ride! Neither one of us knows what we’re doing inside! We came for groceries, got lost in aisle three, She’s following me, and I’m following Betty! We don’t need a list, we don’t need a plan, Just two confused shoppers with a cart in hand! And if we get home with nothing we need, At least we had fun, just Betty and me! [Outro – Spoken Conversation, Music Softens] [Male Vocal] Wow, Betty. I don’t think we got everything. [Female Vocal] Honey, I don’t think we got ANYTHING! [Male Vocal] Well, how are we supposed to divide all this stuff? [Female Vocal] Who cares? Let’s go write a song! [Male Vocal] About what? [Female Vocal] US, YOU SILLY MAN! [Male Vocal] Oh, that’s gonna be a disaster! [Female Vocal – Laughing] Then it’ll be our best one yet! [Both – Laughing] [End – Guitar Riff and Drum Crash]
