DUCKLINGS RUN FOR OFFICE (OFFICIAL)

blues, jazz, fast, vibrant, bass male vocals + contralto female choir backup, high notes, syncopations, echoes, reverbs, uneven jumpy tempo, pauses, percussive, call-and-response, brush drums, ‑MODERN, ‑RAPID, ‑MALE, ‑ORCHESTRA

remember them ducklings!

[Verse 1]
The ducklings watched the primaries
And got a wild idea—
“If these yahoos can run things,
Why not ducks from here to Ikea?”

They formed a local party—
The Down and Feather Bloc.
Their slogan? “Waddle Forward.”
Their platform? “Less TikTok.”
doo-doo doo do do.

[Verse 2]
One duck ran on climate change,
The other ran on lunch.
One filibustered soup lines,
One brought cornbread to a Crunch

She coached their public speaking:
“Emphasize reform and fluff.”
Then Larry asked for evidence—
They just quacked and looked tough.
doo-doo doo do do.

[Chorus]
She sang: “They’re gonna take the House!
They’re polling high in Queens!
They’ve kissed four hundred babies
And pecked a few Marines!”
And I just held the boom mic—
Quack quack quack… and.. scene!
doo-doo doo do do.

[Verse 3]
They hosted town halls in the park,
Handed out “Vote Quack!” pins.
They debated with a pigeon
About things unseen!
doo-doo doo do do.

One duck blamed neoliberalism,
The other blamed "bad vibes."
One promised six-day weekends
And ethical potato fries.
doo-doo doo do do.

[Bridge – Gospel Breakdown]
(Organ swells. Congregational chaos.)
A scandal hit—those Vegas pics!
A duck in heels and pearls!
Fox ran the headline:
“Fowl Behavior, He's a Girl!”
doo-doo doo do do.
She said: “It’s a smear campaign.”
I said: “It’s performance art.”
She said: “Exactly, darling.”
And paddled Fox apart.

doo-doo doo do do.

[Verse 4]
Then came the final debate night—
Feathers ironed, dreams intact.
Their opponent brought a plastic ducky
They nearly got him whacked.
doo-doo doo do do.
They held their ground with dignity,
Declared all "duck lives matter!"
CNN said: “Promising newcomers—
Though oddly fond of water.”

doo-doo doo do do.

[Chorus]
They squawked, “We’ll fix the schools!
And float the MTA!
We’ll fund the arts, forgive your debts,
And outlaw duck pâté!”
And I just set up yard signs—
In full quack-quakc display.
doo-doo doo do do.

[Verse 5]
Election night? We watched returns
From a bodega in the Heights.
One duck wept in a salad bar.
Another started fights.
doo-doo doo do do.
They lost by twenty ballots—
Or so the precinct claimed.
But The Times ran their obits wrong,
And that’s how legends are named.
doo-doo doo do do.
doo-doo doo do do.

[Outro – Clarinet flourish, kazoo dignified fade]
So if you see a duck on Sunday
Giving side-eye near a stall,
He’s not just hocking coasters—
He’s campaigning, after all.
doo-doo doo do do.
Vote QUAK.
Thank you.
doo doo dooooo dodo do
Oh them ducklings!

2521/7500

remember them ducklings! [Verse 1] The ducklings watched the primaries And got a wild idea— “If these yahoos can run things, Why not ducks from here to Ikea?” They formed a local party— The Down and Feather Bloc. Their slogan? “Waddle Forward.” Their platform? “Less TikTok.” doo-doo doo do do. [Verse 2] One duck ran on climate change, The other ran on lunch. One filibustered soup lines, One brought cornbread to a Crunch She coached their public speaking: “Emphasize reform and fluff.” Then Larry asked for evidence— They just quacked and looked tough. doo-doo doo do do. [Chorus] She sang: “They’re gonna take the House! They’re polling high in Queens! They’ve kissed four hundred babies And pecked a few Marines!” And I just held the boom mic— Quack quack quack… and.. scene! doo-doo doo do do. [Verse 3] They hosted town halls in the park, Handed out “Vote Quack!” pins. They debated with a pigeon About things unseen! doo-doo doo do do. One duck blamed neoliberalism, The other blamed "bad vibes." One promised six-day weekends And ethical potato fries. doo-doo doo do do. [Bridge – Gospel Breakdown] (Organ swells. Congregational chaos.) A scandal hit—those Vegas pics! A duck in heels and pearls! Fox ran the headline: “Fowl Behavior, He's a Girl!” doo-doo doo do do. She said: “It’s a smear campaign.” I said: “It’s performance art.” She said: “Exactly, darling.” And paddled Fox apart. doo-doo doo do do. [Verse 4] Then came the final debate night— Feathers ironed, dreams intact. Their opponent brought a plastic ducky They nearly got him whacked. doo-doo doo do do. They held their ground with dignity, Declared all "duck lives matter!" CNN said: “Promising newcomers— Though oddly fond of water.” doo-doo doo do do. [Chorus] They squawked, “We’ll fix the schools! And float the MTA! We’ll fund the arts, forgive your debts, And outlaw duck pâté!” And I just set up yard signs— In full quack-quakc display. doo-doo doo do do. [Verse 5] Election night? We watched returns From a bodega in the Heights. One duck wept in a salad bar. Another started fights. doo-doo doo do do. They lost by twenty ballots— Or so the precinct claimed. But The Times ran their obits wrong, And that’s how legends are named. doo-doo doo do do. doo-doo doo do do. [Outro – Clarinet flourish, kazoo dignified fade] So if you see a duck on Sunday Giving side-eye near a stall, He’s not just hocking coasters— He’s campaigning, after all. doo-doo doo do do. Vote QUAK. Thank you. doo doo dooooo dodo do Oh them ducklings!

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