Uh. Excuse me. They said (NO PICKLES). [Chiptune drop] No pickles [16-bit synth lead arps] No pickles [16-bit synth lead arps] No pickles [echoing, evolving pad] [Verse 1] Left a pickle jar in the truck one day Ninedyfive degrees in da Chevrolet Lid shawd awf like a shotgun shell Now the whole dayum truck smells like... PICKLE. [Gregorian choir] No! No! No pickles! No gawd dayum pickles! [Gregorian choir] No! No! No pickles! No no no no nooo pickles! [Chiptune drop] [Banjo] [Verse 2 — Country groove, increasingly unstable] Took that truck down to the county fair Pickle smell followin’ everywhere Sheriff leaned in, said, “Boy, what died?” Jar in the back went—[SFX]—“I’M ALIVE!” Dill in the glovebox, brine in the vents Pickle juice drippin’ through the instruments Mechanic took one look, turned ghostly white— Said, “That ain’t a pickle [warning SFX!] that thing can bite.” [Hard stop] CHOMP! [Banjo solo] Yee-haw! [Verse 3] Called in the mayor, the priest and the vet, None of those people have come back yet. National Guard put a fence round town— Pickle dug underneath and shut it down. [Slow down, body percussion] “Unit Seven, do you see the dill?” “Negative, Chief… but I think the dill sees us.” It stole a patrol car, learned how to steer, Hit the drive-through yelling, “EXTRA SPEARS!” Cashier said, “Sir, we don’t serve your kind.” The pickle said: “Fine.” [Riser] VEEN-NEH-GAR, GARLIC! CUCUMBER REVENGE! BRINE WITHOUT END! HADOUKEN! Yee-haw! [Drop] [Verse 4 — sparse, syncopated] They finally caught it at quarter to four, Wearing dark glasses in a grocery store. Judge said, “Pickle, how do you plead?” It said, “Your Honour…I’m technically a seed.” [Gavel SFX] [Game-over sound effect] [You lose sound effect] (Wah-wah-wah) The jury gasped, the bailiff cried, An onion in the witness box openly lied. The gavel came down— “ONE HUNDRED YEARS!” The pickle winked and disappeared. [Small child’s voice] "Where did it go?" "Check your burger." [Yelled, terrified] "AAH!! OH GOD! GET IT OFF!!!" NO PICKLES! (IT'S SO SLIMY!) NO PICKLES! (Extra pickles!) NO PICKLES! (Pickle paradox!) (Check the glovebox!) "MAKE IT STOP!" [Bass stutter] D-D-D-D-D-DILL! [Banjo shredding beneath an absolutely unhinged final chiptune drop] Uh. Excuse me. They said— Yee-haw!
