[Verse 1] I keep two portraits folded in my coat One offers bread, one counts what I am owed You ask me how I’m doing; I say, “Fine” While both of them are arguing in my mind [Pre-Chorus] The calendar is crowded with the lives I promised to protect The door I want is open, but I’m scared of what I’d wreck [Chorus] I want a life that feels like mine I want to keep you all beside me The kinder hand, the grasping hand Both reach for what I can’t divide I’m trying to make room for joy Without becoming someone’s loss I love you more than I can say And still I want to choose my own way [Verse 2] Your lunchbox waits beside the unpaid bills A friend calls twice; I know I should call back I mean to stay, I mean to leave, I mean To be the one who never lets you crack [Pre-Chorus] I’ve made a home of every “yes” I couldn’t take away Now every “maybe” sounds like someone I might betray [Chorus] I want a life that feels like mine I want to keep you all beside me The kinder hand, the grasping hand Both reach for what I can’t divide I’m trying to make room for joy Without becoming someone’s loss I love you more than I can say And still I want to choose my own way [Bridge] If I step back, will you call it leaving? If I stay, will I forget my name? I can love you without disappearing I can change and still be yours the same [Final Chorus] I want a life that feels like mine I want to keep you all beside me No perfect self will settle this No clean escape, no flawless plan I’ll take the next small honest step And tell you where I truly stand I love you more than I can say Let’s find a way that holds us all [Outro] Not gone, not gone Just learning where I end Still here, still yours And learning to begin
