[Spoken Intro – Deep male voice, mischievous] Ladies, listen up! First of all, I absolutely love you. And let's face it, what man doesn't appreciate a little cleavage? Now, this ain't about what you should wear, what you've got, or what you haven't. It's just something stupid that crossed my mind. And unfortunately... I started thinking about it. [Verse 1 – Playful, bluesy swagger] Cleavage to me is kinda like a fib Now hear me out before you flip your lid! You squeeze two things together, something's gonna form Hell, that's just physics, ain't nothing out of the norm! Push your face cheeks together, your lips begin to pucker Push your chest together, and there goes another sucker! It's all about perception, that's what I'm trying to say But damn, I keep on looking anyway! [Chorus – Big, catchy, funny] CLEAVAGE! Oh, what a beautiful lie! Two little hills that catch a wandering eye! Push 'em up, squeeze 'em tight Suddenly everything's looking all right! CLEAVAGE! Lord, what can I do? I know how the trick works, I'm telling you! It's a beautiful illusion, and here's the funny part I know it's a setup, but it still gets my heart! [Verse 2 – Sarcastic storytelling] Imagine if I stuffed a sock down my pants You'd take one look and give me a chance! Then you'd find out the truth and say, "That ain't fair!" I'd say, "Well, honey, we're comparing underwear!" You got the push-up bra, I got a rolled-up sock We're both advertising something we ain't got! But there's one little difference, and it ain't hard to see You look like a goddess, I look like I've got a knee! [Chorus – Full band] CLEAVAGE! Oh, what a beautiful lie! Two little hills that catch a wandering eye! Push 'em up, squeeze 'em tight Suddenly everything's looking all right! CLEAVAGE! Lord, what can I do? I know how the trick works, I'm telling you! It's a beautiful illusion, and here's the funny part I know it's a setup, but it still gets my heart! [Verse 3 – Conversational, cheeky] Like a shiny chrome bumper on a Cadillac You see it coming, and your head turns back Front and centre, polished up bright Hell, it's practically got its own spotlight! Now gravity's working on all of us, dear My belly's been travelling south for years! Ain't nothing wrong with a little lift Hell, if I could lift my ass, I'd call it a gift! [Verse 4 – Playful, bluesy] Big ones, small ones, every shape and size They've all got beauty, ain't telling lies Time keeps moving, and things rearrange But beautiful don't have an expiration date! So prop 'em up, or let 'em be You don't owe a damn performance to me I try not to stare, I swear that's true But sometimes my eyeballs forget what to do! [Bridge – Band drops out, spoken comedy] Now ladies... Before you start throwing things at me... I understand! You wear what makes you feel good. And I respect that. But I have one question. If a push-up bra is perfectly acceptable... [Pause] WHY THE HELL CAN'T I WEAR TWO PAIRS OF SOCKS?! [Drum fill, guitar riff] [Final Chorus – Explosive, audience singing] CLEAVAGE! Oh, what a beautiful lie! Two little hills that catch a wandering eye! Push 'em up, squeeze 'em tight Suddenly everything's looking all right! CLEAVAGE! Lord, what can I do? I know how the trick works, I'm telling you! It's a beautiful illusion, and here's the funny part I know it's a setup, but it still gets my heart! [Outro – Spoken, music stops] So ladies... Keep wearing whatever makes you happy. And fellas... Try to keep your eyes where they belong. [Pause] Now, if you'll excuse me... I gotta go buy some socks. [Final guitar hit]
