
Wrong Toast
[Verse 1: Corkscrewing vaudeville male MC, corkscrewing, grinning] Retirement lunch, plastic cups, a sheet cake leaning left They handed me the mic like a friendly little theft I wrote a speech all week about the years and the grit Phone corrected half the nouns into a love note fit I meant to praise the boss for teaching me the trade It said I loved his laugh the way a harbor loves the shade Room went quiet in that way that means you either run Or keep corkscrewing forward through the joke begun [Hook: Corkscrewing vaudeville male MC, loud, corkscrewing] Wrong toast, I read the typo like a vow Whole room clapped harder than the plan allowed If the phone rewrote my courage into heat I will wear the blush and still finish the feat [Verse 2: Corkscrewing vaudeville male MC, corkscrewing, faster] Boss turned the color of a rare steak on the plate His wife laughed first and that decided everybody's fate I kept reading lines I swear I never meant to send About his eyes at closing and the way the night could bend Somebody filmed it, somebody cried into a napkin fold I kept corkscrewing through the mess of autocorrect gold End of the page I raised the cup and owned the mess Said here is to the man, and also to the OS [Hook: Corkscrewing vaudeville male MC, loud, corkscrewing] Wrong toast, I read the typo like a vow Whole room clapped harder than the plan allowed If the phone rewrote my courage into heat I will wear the blush and still finish the feat [Verse 3: Corkscrewing vaudeville male MC, toast blush, corkscrewing] He hugged me after like the speech had been the truth Maybe phones know corners of us we leave uncouth Toast blush on my neck lasting through the cake Wrong toast, right room, that is the trade I make [Bridge: Corkscrewing vaudeville male MC, loud, corkscrewing] Typo in the first line Truth in the punchline Blush is just a tempo mark Read it loud, leave a spark [Hook: Corkscrewing vaudeville male MC, loud, corkscrewing] Wrong toast, I read the typo like a vow Whole room clapped harder than the plan allowed If the phone rewrote my courage into heat I will wear the blush and still finish the feat [Outro: Corkscrewing vaudeville male MC, laughing warm, fork clink rings out and fades] Toast blush, send anyway Tell the boss the phone said hey [End]

