Foreword A riot is the cheapest labour the establishment ever gets. Every pane is a glazier's booking, every claim an insurer's reason to raise the premium, every burning bin on the evening news a point in somebody's poll and a clause in somebody's decree, and the boy in the hood works the whole weekend for nothing. The seed was one line in ANSA after the October 2026 riots in France and Italy: an unnamed centre-right figure saying the unrest "may be worth a couple of points in the polls." Frédéric Bastiat got there in 1850. The glazier's gain is what is seen; what is not seen is the shoes and the book the shopkeeper will now never buy. That weekend in Italy, a Foot Locker was looted and a bookshop's books were swept onto the floor. Nobody at the gala is being sarcastic. Lyrics [Intro] Ladies and gentlemen, raise your champagne for the boy in the hood who came in through the pane! [Verse 1] You clocked in on Saturday, clocked off on Sunday, and the glaziers were booked until Easter by Monday. There's a glazier in Milan who sobbed down the phone: you've paid off his mortgage, and you're not even grown! The insurers are thrilled, they've a lovely excuse to double your premiums. You've been of such use! They were marching for bread, for the price to go down... you raised it! The best little baker in town! [Chorus] Employee of the month! EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH! Hold up your number, nice and still, you worked for free, you sent no bill, and bless you, son, you never will, we couldn't have done it without you! WITHOUT YOU! [Verse 2] The minister's grinning: he's two up in the polls, and he's ordered new Tasers and army patrols. Half a million were marching, the country onside, then you turned up hooded, and the organiser cried. Eight hundred arrests! It's a record, they say, and the record goes onto your record today. Next Saturday's march has been banned by decree... what the water cannon couldn't, son, you did for free! [Chorus] Employee of the month! EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH! Hold up your number, nice and still, you worked for free, you sent no bill, and bless you, son, you never will, we couldn't have done it without you! GRAZIE! MERCI! [Bridge] He'd like to say a few words. He's shy, it's the hood, so he's asked me to read them, and son, they are good. "Smash the system." Smash the system! Oh, isn't he great? That's going in the address to the nation at eight! [Verse 3] You walked out of school to protest the decay, then you set fire to its gate, and the rats shout hooray! You swept every book in the shop to the floor, we've been shutting the libraries ten years or more! You knocked over Marianne's bust in the hall, now that liberty's bust, son, we're having a ball! Seven months with no teacher of French in your class? Well, you'll wait a bit longer. We've spent her on glass. [Final Chorus] Employee of the month! EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH! Hold up your number, nice and still, you worked for free, you sent no bill, and don't you worry, Mum's got the bill! We couldn't have done it, COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT! we couldn't have done it without you! Same time next month? Oggi parte due! [Outro] Would the mother of the Employee of the Month please come to the front desk.
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