The Whateley Boy [Intro — acoustic guitar, upright bass, lazy piano] [Male — spoken] Folks around Dunwich know better than to gossip. But after dark… they do it anyway. [Verse 1 — Male] Up on Sentinel Hill Where the whippoorwills cry, Old Whateley raised a grandson Who grew two years at a time. Had a coat buttoned high, Had a look in his eye, And the dogs all started howling Every time that boy walked by. [Female] What was wrong with him? [Male] Depends which part you mean. [Chorus — Male + Female] Oh, that Whateley boy, Keep away from that Whateley boy, He was reading things at midnight No good book ever employed. [Female] Lock the window! [Male] Bar the door! [Both] Don’t ask what they built That farmhouse for! Oh, that Whateley boy— Something ain’t right With that Whateley boy. [Verse 2 — Female] His mama never named his daddy, Just looked up toward the hill, And Grandpa started laughing When the night went cold and still. Then they bought up all the cattle, But the herd kept getting thin— [Male] Funny thing about that farmhouse: Cows went in… Nothing came out again. [Female] Nothing? [Male] Not on four legs. [Instrumental — clarinet and piano] [Verse 3 — Male] Wilbur came to Arkham With a book beneath his arm, Said, “Professor, let me borrow yours, I swear I mean no harm.” But the library said no, And the watchdog caught his trail— [Female] And when they found that coat upon the floor— [Male] Well… That’s where I’ll end that tale. [Female] You ain’t ending it there! [Male] Lady, I am trying to sleep tonight. [Chorus] Oh, that Whateley boy, Poor peculiar Whateley boy, Had more underneath his clothing Than a tailor could enjoy. Lock the window! Bar the door! There ain’t just one thing In that farmhouse anymore! Oh, that Whateley boy— He wasn’t even the biggest Whateley boy. [Music stops] [Female] …The biggest? [Low bass begins] [Bridge — whispered call and response] [Male] Something’s walking on the hillside. [Female] Can’t see nothing. [Male] Trees are bending. [Female] Ain’t no wind. [Male] Hear that breathing? [Female] That ain’t thunder. [Both] And the footprints… start… right… there. [Band crashes back in] [Final Verse — Both] It came rolling down the mountain, Though no human eye could see, Breaking fences, crushing timber, Big as any house could be. Then the scholars spoke some language That was older than mankind— And for half a breath we saw it. [Female] Lord Almighty… [Male] Never mind. [Final Chorus] Oh, those Whateley boys, Lord preserve us from those Whateley boys! One went walking into Arkham, One could flatten half the town! Ring the church bell! Sound the horn! Something on that hill Should never have been born! Oh, those Whateley boys— [Female] Tell me who their daddy was. [Male] No, ma’am. [Female] Tell me. [Male] No. [Female] Tell me! [Male — whispered] Yog-Sothoth. [Silence] [Female] …Shouldn’t have asked. [Final piano chord]
